Several years ago a bit of a tiff started in newspaper advice columns regarding family newsletters.
On one side were the people who said something like: “I’m sick of getting these ‘updates’ that are nothing more than a chance for people to brag about how wonderful their perfect children are and what awards they’ve won.”
Who cares?!
On the other side were the folks who said they looked forward to the missives, and they didn’t even care if a little bragging was involved. “It’s a chance to stay connected,” these people argued. “It’s nothing to be mad about.”
“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. ” —Alex Haley
The Doubt
As someone who faithfully sends a family newsletter every year, I worried.
What were my family and friends saying about me?
Was my newsletter something to be reviled and chucked in the recycling bin after they blew their nose on it?
The Test
So, one year I decided to test the waters and didn’t send a newsletter. I got an earful. “Where is your letter, you slacker?” a friend griped. “I read that thing to everyone at work. They look forward to it!”
An elderly aunt was more delicate: “Dear, is there something wrong? We’re worried since we didn’t get your letter this year, which is a highlight for us.”
Well, with those kinds of comments I took it as a positive sign and ignored that niggling doubt my newsletters were a source of derision and disdain and decided to continue writing my messages.
Personally, I love getting newsletters from family and friends. To be honest, I don’t love them all equally. Some, I will admit, read like resumes. Some are just long-winded and boring. But in our fast-paced, hectic lives, I think it’s more important than ever that we stay truly connected.
The Writing Tips
So, here are some tips to help you write family messages that are treasured, not trashed.
Avoid listing specific awards.
This is a real pet peeve of many people. If you say, “Amber received first place in the regional soccer competition hosted by….” Blah, blah, blah.
Everyone skipped ahead as soon as they saw “first place” and “Amber.”
Instead, talk about why Amber loves soccer: “She says she pretends the ball is the boy in math class who bugs her. She loves kicking the stuffing out of it.”
You can say you’re doing well at work, and love certain aspects of your job. But to talk about how you were one of only five people recognized in your region for selling the most widgets? Seriously? Only your mom cares about that, and you probably already called and told her.
Spare the rest of the people in your life the litany of family awards.
Tell a story.
Don’t list every town you stopped in on your summer vacation, where you ate and how much gas cost.
Pick an event – like when you went horse-back riding and found out your guide used to work for Brad Pitt – and highlight it. People appreciate a good, short story.
It makes them feel much more a part of your life and helps them enjoy the experience as if they were there with you.
Make it personal.
Don’t talk about yourself in the third person. It sounds weird, like you’re a Hollywood diva with serious emotional issues. “Anita had a great year. Anita tripped and fell in front of the entire high school track team.”
Instead, “I had a great year, except for the day I tripped in front of the high school track team and one of them said, ‘When my Grandma fell like that, she broke a hip. Maybe we should call an ambulance.’”
Keep it concise.
Really, all anyone wants to hear is some brief news about your family; what they’re doing; what interests them; any cool tidbits to pass along (“we found a great cabin at the lake for a really reasonable price and here’s the phone number…”); and that you’re hoping they’re doing well.
Kids change so much from year to year that it might seem tough to whittle down your newsletter to one page, but try.
As they say, always leave your audience wanting more.
Anita has written about workplace issues for more than a decade and is an award-winning journalist, as well as being the founding managing editor of the national magazine Employee Benefit News.
