I remembered when Kay and I used to watch The Gilmore Girls (2000-2007) together every tuesday night for almost six years.
The Series
This series was not so far off of where we were at that time as a family.
Loreli is a single mother raising her 13 year old daughter Rory in a small town. Loreli was fairly young when she had Rory so they some what ‘grow up together’ but when push comes to shove in their relationship, and parenting was needed, the series presented life lessons in a humorous but intelligent way.
The Casual Conversation
What was so great about this time together, was we could goof off, have fun, and have a casual conversation. We talked about everything from college, to fashion, to money, to dating and beyond. I learned so much about her from 6 years of this casual talk and I’m sure she learned a lot about me.
But the most important thing was we grew closer, we developed a closer relationship, we learned to share with each other, to agree as well as disagree (and if there is one thing you want to be able to do with your pre-teen, it’s learn how to thoughtfully disagree).
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” — Mahatma Gandhi
In June of this year, a teenage girl in New York City was charged with arson, burglary, criminal trespass and felony aggravated animal cruelty after she broke into her ex-roommate’s apartment seeking revenge. Among other destructive actions, she confessed that she put her alleged ex-girlfriend’s kitten in the oven to die and afterward told investigators “I hate cats.”
He loves playing Batman and Diego and entering his name as the “highest scorer” at the end of each game (well, most games). He also enjoys playing PBS Kids games and the games at KidsAreHeroes.com.
Playing Video Games
And while I’m not a child psychologist, I believe that too much time in front of a video game, is not good for his development. I also believe that the most important thing I can give my son, and what he really wants the most, is my attention.
So we’ve developed the habit of frequently playing these games together.
This allows us to connect with each other on his terms. Plus it allows me to be the game’s “teaching assistant”.
Playing Together Developing our own Games
As we played together, these games would start to “play out” in the other activities we did:
Drawing pictures
Very naturally, my son started drawing pictures of the characters in the video games. He outlined the bowling lanes, the race car tracks, the mazes. This allowed him another way to understand what he was learning. Drawing also allowed me to extend my role of “assistant teacher” into these drawing activities. More… »
“Mentoring is not just your relationship between you and the child, but their relationship with their environment (parents, siblings, friends. and authority).”
During the 11 years that I mentored I learned a lot about parenting and I’m also doing some of the same things with my boys that I did with Renee. Some of the lessons my mentoring experience taught me were:
1. Kids are more respectful to those who respect them.
2. Kids learn more by mirroring what they see not what you say.
3. Kids truly want to please adults.
4. Kids need positive feedback more than negative.
5. Kids want and need quality time with you.
6. Kids need to feel special.
Several years ago a bit of a tiff started in newspaper advice columns regarding family newsletters.
On one side were the people who said something like: “I’m sick of getting these ‘updates’ that are nothing more than a chance for people to brag about how wonderful their perfect children are and what awards they’ve won.”
Who cares?!
On the other side were the folks who said they looked forward to the missives, and they didn’t even care if a little bragging was involved. “It’s a chance to stay connected,” these people argued. “It’s nothing to be mad about.”
“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. ” —Alex Haley
The Doubt
As someone who faithfully sends a family newsletter every year, I worried.
What were my family and friends saying about me?
Was my newsletter something to be reviled and chucked in the recycling bin after they blew their nose on it?
