My 5-year old son loves his leapfrog.

He loves playing Batman and Diego and entering his name as the “highest scorer” at the end of each game (well, most games).  He also enjoys playing PBS Kids games and the games at KidsAreHeroes.com.

Playing Video Games

And while I’m not a child psychologist, I believe that too much time in front of a video game, is not good for his development. I also believe that the most important thing I can give my son, and what he really wants the most, is my attention.

So we’ve developed the habit of frequently playing these games together.

This allows us to connect with each other on his terms. Plus it allows me to be the game’s “teaching assistant”.

Playing Together Developing our own Games

As we played together, these games would start to “play out” in the other activities we did:

Drawing pictures
Very naturally, my son started drawing pictures of the characters in the video games. He outlined the bowling lanes, the race car tracks, the mazes. This allowed him another way to understand what he was learning. Drawing also allowed me to extend my role of “assistant teacher” into these drawing activities.

Playing games outside
Instead of teaching my son the rules of a game he wasn’t interested in (i.e. Baseball or Soccer), I allowed him to make up the rules. The soccer ball because a cannon ball. Wiffle ball bats became robot arms. He decided how points were won (which was always in his favor…).

Grocery shopping
We developed a habit of counting apples by twos and threes just like he was learning in his games.  We started sounding out the words on cereal boxes. We turned the shopping isles into a giant maze.

Is There a Solution?

I guess my point with all this is that, as parents, often hear  how bad TV and video games are for our kids, but we too quickly conclude that the “solution” to this problem is to “just watch less”.

As a culture, we don’t want to admit that neglecting our kids could be the real problem (ouch!).  We rarely consider other ways to approach the “Too much TV; too many video games” problem. What I learned through my own experience (and again, I’m no Einstein), is that there are ways to naturally bring the attention away from the screen.

Instead of trying to pull them away from the video game, why not join them?  See to understand your child – and the games they play – on their terms.

The validation alone is worth the time spent.

My son’s Karate teacher, Sensei Craig, said something to me one night that always sticks in my mind:

“What kids want more than anything in the world is your time. They want this more than any toy or video game.”

By making my son’s agenda our number one focus, I’ve learned how to better connect with him, and have a great time learning from each other!

Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

John Haydon is a single father of a 6 year old boy and runs his own business advising non-profits, small business and social entrepreneurs on how to implement inbound marketing strategies with the social web. If you would like to contact John you can find him on Twitter at @johnhaydon or visit  his web site.

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Related Posts:

• Video Games: Preschoolers, Gradeschoolers, Pre-teens, and teens (PBS.org)
• What Are You Putting At Stake as a Parent? (RemarkableParents.com)
• Parents’ Involvement Key To Motivating Students
• Connecting Parents, Kids & Books

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