You’ve shopped for new clothes, bought their school supplies, enrolled them in after-school activities and arranged the carpool.

Congratulations, you’re well on your way to starting the new school year on the right track!

But what about next year and the years following?

If your back-to-school checklist doesn’t include a plan for future education needs, you might need to make some additional preparations.

It may seem like college is years away, but waiting to save for those expenses — even for one year — can make a great difference.

Photo by Whimsy Studios

Planning For Their Future

Children grow quickly, and the cost of a college education is growing at an even faster rate.  Today, many of the elite institutions cost upward of $30,000 annually to attend—and those costs are projected to double in 18 years.

The sooner you start thinking about future college costs, the more time you’ll have to develop and implement a solid education plan.

• 5.9 % Average increase in public university tuition from 2006–2007 school year to the 2007–2008 school year

• $ 148,004 Estimated cost of four-year public university in 2026

• 5.9 % Average increase in private university tuition from2006–2007 school year to the 2007–2008 school year

• $ 300,000 Estimated cost of four-year public university in 2026 (Statistics from CollegeBoard.com)
  

An Education Plan

Creating an education plan will help you determine how much you’ll need to save for your family’s future education needs.  When it’s time to implement your plan, there are several options available, including 529 College Savings Plans.  The plans are one of the best ways to save for higher education, since they provide tax-deferred asset accumulation, professional management, flexibility, as well as several other benefits not available in other education saving options.  Most 529 plans also offer systematic investment options, allowing you to make regular, automatic contributions and take advantage of compounding and tax-deferred growth.

As you prepare for a new school year, make an appointment to speak to your Financial Advisor about developing a customized education plan that may help you meet your college-funding goals.  Even if you already have a plan, it is still a good time to meet with your Advisor for an annual education review to make sure you are still on the right track.

When Should You Start?

Whether your child is preparing for kindergarten or studying for the SATs, an education plan should always be a part of your back-to-school checklist.

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Related Posts:

• Personal Finance 101:  What is a 529? -   The Simple Dollar
• A Good Problem To Have (How He Saves) -  Dumb Little Man
• What Is the Value of a College Education? -  Financial Aid Podcast
• 529 College Savings Plan -   Wikipedia

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Guest Author Bio:
Todd Herrenbruck is a Financial Advisor with Morgan Stanley Smith Barney in Milwaukee, WI.

You can reach Todd via email, phone 414-226-3106 or by visiting his website.

Let’s Talk

• Do you have an educational plan?

• Is it an important part of your family’s future?

• How important is it for your kids to go to college?

• Is it expected or do you believe that it’s an individual choice that each child needs to make?

• Is your child planning on attend a private or public university or.. maybe a technical college?

Since my daughter is 19 years old, this is a subject that has been on my mind quite a bit over the last two years.  It’ll be interesting to hear some other opinions.  — VickyH

by Sara Puls

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” —  Mahatma Gandhi

In June of this year, a teenage girl in New York City was charged with arson, burglary, criminal trespass and felony aggravated animal cruelty after she broke into her ex-roommate’s apartment seeking revenge. Among other destructive actions, she confessed that she put her alleged ex-girlfriend’s kitten in the oven to die and afterward told investigators “I hate cats.”

Animal Abuse Statistics

According to a 1997 study by the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) and Northeastern University, animal abusers are:

• 5x’s more likely to commit violent crimes against people
• 5x’s more likely to commit property crimes

Does this mean that if a child abuses an animal that they are guaranteed to grow up and become a criminal?

Not necessarily, but animal abuse can be an indicator of a deeper problem and it does mean that animal abuse needs to be taken seriously.

How Children May View Animals

Children need to be taught appropriate ways to interact with pets and to be respectful of pets and wildlife roaming in your neighborhood.

Set A Great Example

1. Never hit, shake, jerk or yell at your family pet – your child learns most of their behaviors by observing you.
2. If you overreact in anger toward your pet, show your child that it’s all right to apologize to the pet just as you would apologize to a person.
3. Do not ignore or dismiss pet-unfriendly actions. When dealt with as though they’ve committed a serious offense, most children will not repeat the behavior.
4. If you notice a child harassing or abusing an animal, it’s important to put a stop to it right away!   Treat it seriously even if it doesn’t seem that the animal was really harmed. Depending on the age and intent of the child, some of these could be innocent behaviors, but the opportunity should be used as a teachable moment to ensure the child understands that harassing animals is unacceptable.

Discuss Inappropriate Behavior

Some inappropriate behaviors that you should discuss with your child include:

1. Chasing a fleeing animal
2. Locking a pet in a closet
3. Leaving a pet outdoors for an extended period of time
4. Painting a pet’s body

Beyond Inappropriate Behavior

Some behaviors can indicate a more serious problem, especially if performed habitually or out of anger.

These behaviors may indicate a need for professional help:

1. Giving a pet medications or harmful foods to see what effect it will have
2. Placing a tight rubber band around a paw or tail
3. Putting a small animal in a washing machine, microwave or other appliance
4. Staging fights between dogs or letting one animal chase another
5. Taking pleasure in seeing a frightened or suffering pet
6. Responding to adult reprimands by engaging in hostile acts toward the pet
7. Burning an animal
8. Teasing an animal with firecrackers
9. Repeatedly showing off the inhumane handling of a pet to others
10. Putting an animal in dangerous situations, such as dangling her outside a window or bringing her into the road

What To Do

If you are aware that a child has engaged in the harassment or abuse of an animal:

1.   A simple, clear statement such as, “We don’t hurt animals” is far more effective than lecturing.

2.  Use the same serious tone of voice that you would use if you saw your child running across the street without stopping to look for oncoming traffic.

3.  If your teenager involves the family dog in high-risk activities such as dog fighting, not only should you intervene, but check in to see if your child is being influenced by alcohol, drugs, gambling or other unhealthy behaviors that involve peer pressure.

Remember that for most children, learning empathy and respect toward animals is part of the normal socialization process; they learn these behaviors the same way as learning how to treat other children.

However, if your child persists in harassing or harming your pet in spite of your repeated corrections, consult with your pediatrician, psychiatrist or psychologist.

If your child is an animal lover, the ASPCA has a fun and informational site, called Animaland for kids who want to learn more about how they can help animals and prevent and report animal abuse.

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Related Posts:

• ABC’s Of Empathy:  Teaching Kids To Care -   American Humane
• Animal Cruelty and Family Violence: Making the Connection -  The Humane Society of the United States
• What Pets Can Teach -  Parents Canada
• Understanding the Link Between Animal Abuse and Family Violence -   American Humane

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Guest Author Bio:

Sara Puls is the creator and community manager of BrewCityTails.com, an online community for pet lovers in Southeastern Wisconsin.

She has a B.A. in Psychology & Sociology, a Master’s Degree in Urban Planning, nine years of experience as a parent and over 15 years experience as a pet parent.   She is an expert in bird care and small animal behavior and care, and has provided foster care for dogs and cats.

You can find Sara and @brewcitytails on Twitter and Facebook.

Let’s Talk

What lessons have you learned from pets?

I’m sure love and companionship, but we all know our pets give us much more. We hope you will share your stories with us and our readers in the comments.

by Todd Jordan

In the previous articles we’ve talked about a variety of tools you could use to keep your kids safe online. There are browsers, suites, and toolbars, but each requires something not included in the package.  

That something is parental involvement.

Increase Your Knowledge

Internet safety is more about knowledge of the pitfalls and coming along side children instead of waging a war of prevention.  Each of the tools already mentioned require downloading, installing, setup, and monitoring.

That said, they lull parents into a false sense of security.  They make us tend to set and forget, and hope for the best.  What can we do to step out off attrition mode?

Get safety smart and get involved.

Get Safety Smart … Get Involved

So what’s a parent to do to get educated and take part?

I recommend play!   You can have a good time and learn a bit at the same time, so dig in!

Get an account on your kid’s favorite network  – (let’s take Faceboook for example, very popular these days)

 Step 1:  Set up your profile

1. Don’t share your birthdate – real friends will know, for the rest it doesn’t matter

2. Don’t share your phone number – again, your real life friends should already have this

3. Leave the address information blank – it adds no value, and those that need to know do

4. Leave the Political views blank – not only do your friends know, this is a magnet for trouble

5. Religious views – this is a safe one to fill in – but realize this won’t ward off folks of opposite beliefs

6. Instant message – leave it blank to start with

7. Work and college info – leave it blank – this is not picked up on by Facebook except for ads – there is no automatic connection with others involved

       
      A little more common sense about our profile

• What is in your profile is visible and searchable by others, at least in part?

• When you make someone a contact, they have much higher access to your profile information.

• Leaving fields blank isn’t dishonest. (Don’t be trapped into the myth that only predators keep information private)

• Anything shared with your profile that’s public is not only searchable, but likely to be permanently available in Internet archives.

Step 2:  Find your child’s profile and add them as a contact
Don’t give them a choice on this one. ( It’s not cool for most children, but don’t let that deter you)

Have them make you a friend.  – This will give you greater access to what they’ve posted in their profile and what they share on that service.

Step 3:  Invite them to a game – this the fun part

1.  Find something age appropriate

2.  Find something they like to play

3.  Don’t badger them about it.

Step 4: Leave them alone - Note: This is the hardest step

That’s right – don’t pester them, constantly write on their wall, or send them messages.  They live with you!

1.  Don’t ignore them.  Leaving them alone does not mean not checking in on them. This is where having them as friends on Facebook comes in handy.

2.  Read their wall posts. 

3.  Check their status updates.  This will allow you to see what they write about.

4.  Breathe.  Yes, once you start reading what your children have to say, breathe.  Your kids are going to talk about things that might make you uneasy or wonder if they are your child.  Step back and compare what you’re reading online to what you see in person.  Apply common sense.

5.  Don’t confront them online.  Trust me, this crosses so many boundaries it isn’t worth the trouble. Key is that it calls them out in front of their peers.  That will be an immediate trust destroyer.   Do your talking offline and away from the computer.

So you’ve signed onto your first social network and you and your child aren’t total enemies yet.  That’s really good, but now what? 

It’s a patience game, the next step to online safety is patient observation.

Getting Involved…  Patient Observation

Before we go on, here’s a tip, ‘poking’ is not usually a stand in word for Sex.  Poking is a social tool on Facebook, and other networks to essentially be a virtual poke just like you’d poke someone in real life with your finger, akin to a nudge. That is all on that.

* Watch the groups they join - Facebook, and other social networks online provide chat rooms and groups to join. Pay close attention to which ones she joins. Facebook doesn’t police these groups, nor are they locked by age or other criteria. If you can’t tell by the description if it’s safe, only then join it yourself.

* Watch what applications they add - 99% of Facebook applications are harmless fun and timewasters – few should cause concern. Here the worry is more about age appropriate. There are adult games out there. Oh, you won’t find nudity, but lots of sexual innuendo and sex related topics show their face. Many applications involve a blase attitude towards violence. Use your best judgement.

Note: these applications can be addictive. Beware adding too many to your own profile.

* Check out what they post – All social networks allow posting text, but Facebook allows posting of video, recordings, and pictures as well. It also encourages link sharing. The thing you’re watching for here more than them talking about sex, or other things test the waters with, but is your child being safe in what they share

1.  Are they sharing their address, even remotely close?

2.  Are they telling their age?

3.  Are they giving out their full name and ways to reach them?

4.  Are they arranging to meet people you don’t know or know aren’t safe?

5.  What are other people sharing with your child

Article Wrapup…  Main Takeaways

Joining your son or daughter on social networks is just one way to get closer to them and minimize the risks of their online life.  That won’t always be possible, nor is every community going to be one you’ll feel comfortable joining. 

The tips and tricks above though can be applied in general towards your shared experience with them.

* Be careful what you share – Name, age, address and phone number are the most important ones to be careful with.  Predators of all types will latch onto this information.

* Be careful where you go – Not all groups and communities are problems, but some are more trouble than others. Set the same standards for yourself that you set for your child here.  Avoid obvious pitfalls such as ‘adult’ rooms, and rooms you’d wouldn’t want your teen to visit.

* Be careful who you friend – Just as you will keep back some of your information for safety, others will keep it back for more devious reasons. Watch who you daughter talks to online by observing the conversations you can.  Likewise, don’t trust someone you talk to with too much personal information.  If you aren’t in person friends already, no reason to give out too much.  Kids make this mistake a lot.

* Looks for early signs of trouble – This goes along with some of the above as well. Be wary of folks asking constantly for full name, address, age, or phone number. Keep on the lookout for those sharing photos of themselves that are provocative or increasingly so. Also, if they’ve got something that they need money for, that’s another sign of potential trouble. Kids are easily taken in by their desire to help.

All in all, being online isn’t the riskiest place in the world, but the ease of access makes it easily accessible for trouble makers.  Think about it as a huge social mixer with folks you don’t know. If you wouldn’t share it or take it on board from those folks, then don’t do it online.

This series has been fun to write and made me really set down and think.  Thank you Vicky for inviting me to tackle such an important subject, and thank you readers for coming on board.  I’ve appreciated the feedback and suggestions and can’t wait to visit here again.

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Related Posts:

• Facebook Tutorial – The Basics  (ParentPowerIndex.com)
• Bridging The Communication Divide With Blogging (ParentPowerIndex.com)
• How Using Social Media Has Helped Me Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• How Social Media Has Taught Me To Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• If 40 Is The New 30, Is 18 The New 8 (RemarkableParents.com)

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Featured Guest Writer BIO:

Todd’s blog is The Broad Brush and his interests include activities with his church, online safety and awareness, social media, and multimedia. 

He is  an avid social media user and  a member of the Christian Men of Twitter.

by Chris Garrett

One of the reasons I love the work that I do is that it helps me be closer to my family.

As with most people who run their own business, there are pressures and challenges involved that can work against family life, especially if you are not careful, but over all when talking to other parents I feel blessed that I can now work in a way that allows me all the family benefits that we enjoy.

I have gone from a job that I found frustrating, working for a marketing agency, a traditional commuting and office job, to having my own consulting business, running online courses, writing, running sites for income such as http://creditcardmatcher.com and blogging with friends on sites like http://promotions.co.uk/blog or for companies like http://cogniview.com – the transition was not easy but well worth the effort and I now love my work.

The best part is as well as being happier in myself, which is always a key ingredient in the recipe for better family life, I now get to see my family more often, in more quality ways.

Some of the ways technology helps me …

1) Time – my time is more productively spent.

The biggest example is sales, or rather the removal of a need to do any sales. Where before I would have to write proposals, travel down to London to pitch, present my pitch, then travel back, now I do not need to do any of that. Customers come to me via the internet, and 99% of them I have never met in person. This is a massive time saving. Just the train journey to London is over two hours one way, when it is on time. By car it is nearly four.

Of course I still travel, but I choose when and how, and it is never to pitch or sell.

2) Quality time – by taking control of my time it means I am always available when my family most needs me.

From the seemingly little things (though very important all the same) like never missing any school shows and sports days, through to traumatic events like when my daughter needed to be in hospital I could drop everything.

When I travel for business now I can take my family with me, which is a real thrill for my daughter, and means we do not need to be apart half as much as we would otherwise.

3) Systems – after leaving my job and starting my own business I realized I had gone from one bad employer (job) to another (me).

Freedom is not something you get given but something you need to take. It is only in the last year or so that I really worked that out, but it is through systemizing and technology that supports that where my freedom came from. Everything from using online tools like Skype, through to infrastructure like 3g telephone internet connections. I can outsource entirely online, and can provide my services in the same way. Digital delivery means in some cases my customers do not even need to interact with me at all if they do not want to. The best part is the whole idea of making your own schedule.

Time shifting has impacted many things, most notably television where you watch what you want to and when, but now you can time shift your work which opens up a whole new world.

4) Multi tasking – while queuing, on a train or flight, I can read ebooks, listen to audio books on my iPod, and check email.

In the car I can listen to audio books too, and of course all those other things if I am not driving! In fact on long journeys I have written book chapters, blog posts, answered client emails, updated the online courses I run. Using internet messaging and remote desktop tools I have fixed failing web servers and diagnosed technical problems all over mobile internet connections.

While my daughter watches Disney channel I can have my laptop, well, on my lap and while out and about my iPod touch serves as a terminal to access email and the web.

5) Location independence – not being tethered to a desk is only the start of it.

It gets even better than not being forced to go to an office every day and work to someone else’s schedule. Once your work is online that means you can work from anywhere there is an internet connection. I have logged in from a beach in the south of france, and from a frozen lake in the rocky mountains.

Every school holiday for my daughter means we can go away and do something fun, and my work does not need to suffer to make that happen.

Sound good? It is good, but now there are challenges and potential risks with all this that I ought to share:

Challenges and Potential Risks

1) Being distracted – It is not quality time if you are checking your email, IM and tweets all the time. We need to be present when we need to be present. It is not enough to be physically there and mentally some other place! These tools make it too easy to focus on the wrong things, and our moments with family are too precious to waste.

2) Learn to say ‘no’ – One of my biggest lessons is that we do not have to say yes to everything. My clients are spread all over the world from New Zealand to Hawaii. If I let it then my work would stop me getting any sleep, as every time a new time zone wakes up I get a new set of demands on my time. You need to find a time to be at work and a time to switch off, and when you switch off do it properly. We are now so connected that you can be followed wherever you go and there is no safe haven. Even flights now have wifi occasionally. Some people think if you CAN be online you SHOULD.

3) Workaholism – At some point we need to make the decision to end the work day. If I let myself I work 12 hours or more each day, and I work seven days a week.

Not healthy!

So I have started implementing a strict policy of work hours and building in family and health time. It is not easy but I am getting there. This is related to the previous point but it is an important one.

When you can work from anywhere and any time, how do you choose to stop? I often say that while I have not experienced burnout yet I have circled that drain a few times. You have to be disciplined and put your family first.

While we think we are doing all this hard work for our family, you are doing them no good if you become a worn out ask of yourself at the end of each day.

I would like to hear how you work and balance your family and professional life. Please share your thoughts in the comments?

Chris Garrett lives in the UK with the two most important ladies in his life; his wife and their 9 year old daughter.

Chris is a professional blogger, Internet Marketing consultant, writer, coach, speaker, and web geek. He is a founding member of Performancing and recently has co-written the book Problogger: Secrets For Blogging Your Way To A Six Figure Income

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Related Posts:

• Connecting With Your Child When Twitter Is Banging On The Door (RemarkableParents.com)
• How Social Media Has Taught Me To Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• Flipping Work Life Balance (BiggSuccess..com)
• Sandbagging Your Efforts (CarpeFactum.typepad.com)

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by Anita Bruzzese

Christmas Card vs

Family Newsletter

Several years ago a bit of a tiff started in newspaper advice columns regarding family newsletters.

On one side were the people who said something like:  “I’m sick of getting these ‘updates’ that are nothing more than a chance for people to brag about how wonderful their perfect children are and what awards they’ve won.”

Who cares?!

On the other side were the folks who said they looked forward to the missives, and they didn’t even care if a little bragging was involved.  “It’s a chance to stay connected,” these people argued. “It’s nothing to be mad about.”

“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. ”   — Alex Haley

The Doubt

As someone who faithfully sends a family newsletter every year, I worried.

What were my family and friends saying about me?

Was my newsletter something to be reviled and chucked in the recycling bin after they blew their nose on it?

The Test

So, one year I decided to test the waters and didn’t send a newsletter. I got an earful. “Where is your letter, you slacker?” a friend griped. “I read that thing to everyone at work. They look forward to it!”

An elderly aunt was more delicate: “Dear, is there something wrong? We’re worried since we didn’t get your letter this year, which is a highlight for us.”

Well, with those kinds of comments I  took it as a positive sign and ignored that niggling doubt my newsletters were a source of derision and disdain and decided to continue writing my messages.

Personally, I love getting newsletters from family and friends. To be honest, I don’t love them all equally. Some, I will admit, read like resumes. Some are just long-winded and boring. But in our fast-paced, hectic lives, I think it’s more important than ever that we stay truly connected.

The Writing Tips

So, here are some tips to help you write family messages that are treasured, not trashed.

• Avoid listing specific awards.

This is a real pet peeve of many people. If you say, “Amber received first place in the regional soccer competition hosted by….”  Blah, blah, blah.

Everyone skipped ahead as soon as they saw “first place” and “Amber.”

Instead, talk about why Amber loves soccer: “She says she pretends the ball is the boy in math class who bugs her.  She loves kicking the stuffing out of it.”

You can say you’re doing well at work, and love certain aspects of your job.  But to talk about how you were one of only five people recognized in your region for selling the most widgets?  Seriously?  Only your mom cares about that, and you probably already called and told her.

Spare the rest of the people in your life the litany of family awards.

• Tell a story.

Don’t list every town you stopped in on your summer vacation, where you ate and how much gas cost.

Pick an event – like when you went horse-back riding and found out your guide used to work for Brad Pitt – and highlight it.   People appreciate a good, short story.

It makes them feel much more a part of your life and helps them enjoy the experience as if they were there with you.

• Make it personal.

Don’t talk about yourself in the third person.   It sounds weird, like you’re a Hollywood diva with serious emotional issues. “Anita had a great year. Anita tripped and fell in front of the entire high school track team.”

Instead, “I had a great year, except for the day I tripped in front of the high school track team and one of them said, ‘When my Grandma fell like that, she broke a hip. Maybe we should call an ambulance.’”

• Keep it concise.

Really, all anyone wants to hear is some brief news about your family; what they’re doing; what interests them; any cool tidbits to pass along (“we found a great cabin at the lake for a really reasonable price and here’s the phone number…”); and that you’re hoping they’re doing well.

Kids change so much from year to year that it might seem tough to whittle down your newsletter to one page, but try.

As they say, always leave your audience wanting more.

Anita Bruzzese writes on her site 45 Things and  is the author of two books “45 Things You Do That Drive Your Boss Crazy — And How To Avoid Them” and “Take This Job And Thrive“.  You can download a sample chapter of each of her book’s on her site for a preview.

Anita has written about workplace issues for more than a decade and is an award-winning journalist, as well as being the founding managing editor of the national magazine Employee Benefit News.

by Robert Hruzek

Photo by M. Ryan

Hey, do your digital photos tend to come out looking pale and washed-out?

Mine sure do!

Are the colors not quite as vivid as you remembered?

Yep;  that’s me, all right!

The Free, Fast, & Easy Software

When it comes to capturing those great moments with today’s cameras, well, I must admit to being something of a dweeb.  I’ll tell ya; I can never figure out how to get the best out of ‘em.

The good news is, help is available! For instance, there’s a great photo-editing tool available that’s easy, fast and – best of all – free! (Don’cha just love that word?)

Trust me; it’s easier than you think.

Edit It & Store It

With just a couple of clicks I will show you how to use a free web-based photo-editing tool called Picnik to make even ordinary-seeming photos come alive. But here’s the best news: Picnik has partnered with Flickr in such a way that they’re practically joined at the hip!

(NOTE: the following steps assume you already have a Flickr account. The basic membership for Flickr is free, but there’s also a Pro membership available for $24.95 for a year. Although you can use Picnik without a Flickr membership, the ability to edit from within Flickr is, in my opinion, a big plus.)

Editing Your Photo

Here’s how to quickly edit a photo using Picnik (from within Flickr):

1. Pick any photo from your photostream. This will take you to that photo’s page.
2. OK, see all those little icons just above the photo? Click on that second one from the right: “Edit Photo”.
   
3. Now, the first time only, you’ll be asked if you want to open Picnik within your Flickr account. Click on “OK”. (Only happens your first time.) This step is necessary because the application has the ability to manipulate (even delete!) photos in your Flickr account, so they just want you to be sure. It’s OK; that’s what you want.
4. Once Picnik opens (it’ll take a few seconds), you’ll find yourself on the main edit page, which should look something like this:

Now, if you’re anything like me (and sincere condolences if you are!), then you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Ooh, lookit all the pretty buttons!” For the purposes of this demonstration, though, let’s just keep it simple for now, shall we?

Trust me, this one thing may be all you’ll ever need.

OK; only a couple more steps and we’re done!

1. Now click on the “Exposure” button there in the middle. This takes you to a different page, where you’ll see, among other things, two buttons: “Auto-Fix” on the left and “Advanced” over on the right.
2. Click on the “Advanced” button. Another menu appears just below it.
3. Now – and here’s where the instant magic happens – click on the box at the bottom, next to the words “Local Contrast”. Keep your eye on the photo so you can watch what happens.

Voila! You’ll see the photo pop to life like you won’t believe! With a little practice, it’ll take less time to edit a photo than it took to read through these instructions.

Plus, you don’t have to stop there; with a free Picnik account you’ll find a huge number of editing tools available that provide an amazing amount of creative freedom. (Remember, for the more advanced features a Premium membership is required – also $24.95 a year; this is a different animal than a Pro Flickr account.)

Before & After Photo

Here’s a before-and-after split of the photo I used, with before on the right half and after on the left half. Isn’t it amazing, the difference just a few clicks can make?

In no time, you’ll be turning your pale, washed out photos into something you can be truly proud of. And as we say down here in Texas, that’s just finer than a frog’s hair!

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Image: Say Hello to Me Mum! by Robert Hruzek

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Robert Hruzek currently lives in Houston, Texas, and is usually employed as an engineering project manager. He has travelled, lived and worked in many locations within the United States and around the world.

Robert writes on the Web at Middle Zone Musings (http://middlezonemusings.com/). It’s a comfortable place to have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. He doesn’t ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Why not drop by, take a load off, and relax for a spell…

You may contact Robert by email at: rhruzek [at] sbcglobal [dot] net

You may have noticed that there are some banner ads lately on Remarkable Parents.

The banners here are hand chosen by us and are friends whose web sites and mission we fully believe in. These resources are real and not a get rich quick scheme. Introducing Michelle Vandepas of “Divine Purpose Unleashed”!

Divine Purpose Unleashed

by Michelle Vandepas

Do You Have a Divine Life Purpose?

Or maybe you’ve considered that your purpose is raising your children? You love your family but wonder, is there more to life than diapers, meal planning and dirty bathtubs? We all know that having a family is part of your Divine experience here on earth, but is there more…….?

Do Others Think Your Life Is Perfect?

Most of my friends always thought my life was perfect. I have a wonderful family, nice home and great job, but before I was tapped into my purpose I always felt something was missing. Late at night I’d ask myself the big questions. What was I really here to do? Was this all there was to life?

Shouldn’t I Be Happy?

Why wasn’t I happy? I had everything except the most important thing. I didn’t feel fulfilled. My job was fantastic. Nevertheless, it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t reconcile the present reality, with where I wanted to be. Inside myself was always a yearning, a longing to be ‘doing’ something else.

Forget Trying to Figure it Out!

For years I tried to analyze my purpose. I knew what I didn’t want to do, and I knew a few things I loved, but I couldn’t quite get a handle on what it all meant in the bigger picture. I had some leadership skills, but did that mean I was supposed to be a manager? I’m creative, was I supposed to be an artist? And that’s the trouble. We try to figure it out in our minds. And in the process we confuse our ‘roles’ like, ‘employee’, or’ mother,’ or ‘artist,’ with our purpose. Our purpose may be to be creative, or to lead, and once we tap into those energies that give our lives meaning and purpose, then we can bring them onto all areas of our life, including into our ‘roles’.

Our Hearts will follow up with a possible step:

• Where can I enroll in art class?
• I could write in the bathroom for 5 minutes.
• Maybe I could walk at lunch tomorrow.

Our Minds Don’t Lead Us

Our Hearts do. Our Intuition does. Yet our minds are important. Our minds help us discern if the timing is right and what steps we can take to move toward our purpose. These are some questions that may come from your mind:

• How can I follow my heart when I’m not happy in my job but I’ve got a family to feed?
• How can I pay my bills and live with Spirit?
• Must give up my profession and live in poverty in order to discover meaning and purpose?

When We Listen, Our Intuition Will Give Us Guidance:

Our Intuition won’t fail us, but we need to strengthen the skill of listening to it. We hear our nudges:

• An art class sounds rejuvenating
• used to write poetry in school.
• My mind needs a long walk.

We get scared. Instead of just following, gently with a small step, we go into panic. These nudges must mean I have to become a full time artist, or we think, I’ll never write a book of poetry; I can’t walk across the USA. We take the nudge all the way into how our life will change over the next ten years. That is our mind in overdrive. Hyper imaginative. Our heart is mearly giving us instruction for our next step.

Our Hearts will follow up with a possible step:

• Where can I enroll in art class?
• I could write in the bathroom for 5 minutes.
• Maybe I could walk at lunch tomorrow.

Are You Stuck?

One way to wake up your heart is to try new and different things. Maybe you don’t even know what your heart-bursting activities are. We bury them deep inside. Try this. Make a long list of things you loved to do as a child, things you would like to try and things you love to do now. Take pen and paper and quickly, don’t think about it. No censoring. Yes, 100 things. Quick! When you run out of ideas keep writing the list of things you might have liked to do as a child, then add to it things your friends liked to do. Activities, even creative ones, are the road to your purpose, they are not your purpose. Painting may be something you love to do, and perhaps you are gifted, but if you make the mistake of believing that painting is your purpose, and then when you might lack inspiration for the day, you’ll feel without purpose, maybe even depressed. Better to find a new outlook on purpose and consider that creativity, or designing beauty, or visioning are more closely related to your purpose.

Now Start!

What did you write down? Reading? Dancing, Running? Building rocket ships? Playing with dolls, studying the stars? These may be activities that will help get you closer to your dreams, and in turn, to your Divine Life Purpose. Take one of the items on the list and try it. Want to dance? Your dreams don’t need dance lessons, try dancing around the living room, once a day for a week. Maybe your heart just wants to go outside and stare at the dark night for ten minutes. Great! Don’t wait for a thousand dollars and the new telescope to manifest. If you’ve got a dream, or a wish, this could be a window into your Divine Purpose. What if all we needed to live our purpose was a gentle nudge to have more fun, open our heart, and be more connected to our own Spirit? Perhaps we each have the power to turn on the switch inside ourselves to ‘enlighten’ our heart’s desire? And that will lead us to Divine Purpose.

How Do I Find Purpose In My Work?

Eventually, you may turn your passion into a business or a job, however it isn’t a necessity. There are plenty of bus drivers who have a purpose to serve, and many a nurse whose purpose is nuturing. There are also nurses who don’t work with patients, but have found purpose by switching to a scientific side of nursing. When you are aware that your purpose isn’t your job, then you can bring purpose into your job!

Enjoy the Process

Today, bask in your spiritual gift of stargazing, painting, or sitting in the stillness. Your gift to the world doesn’t have to involve money or product. Your gift to the world is being you, fully Human, living in the joy with an expanded heart. Reconnecting with your Spirit. Rediscovering what makes your heart sing, here in the moment. Following your bliss.

And that is your Divine Purpose.

Bio: Michelle Vandepas is living her Divine Purpose by sharing tools to inspire others to live with passion and purpose. Michelle is a Doctor of Divinity and a Reiki Master. She is also an Entrepreneur and co-founder of Divine Purpose Unleashed, LLC and founder of ‘Conscious Destiny‘, LLC, companies that enhance Creativity, Consciousness, Integrity, Purpose, Passion and Intuition.

I will be introducing you to many other “Friends that Rock!”, yes unbelievably I have quite a few and I want to share them with all of you!

Another great resource about finding your divine purpose is the book “Achievement IQ Moments” by Stanley F. Bronstein which I briefly reviewed (yes, you’ll meet him later in a “Friends that Rock” post). Do you feel that you’ve found your divine purpose? Are you in the process of living your purpose? What do you feel your divine purpose is? Is it obtainable?

by Ann Handley

Greetings all staff and stakeholders of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises:

It has come to my attention that there has been some confusion about your roles and responsibilities within the organization, which has led to infighting, yelling, and name-calling—this happened just yesterday, prior to 7 AM.

Such behavior is both unprofessional and unwarranted, and it is my job as the CEO and central “brand” of this enterprise to address this situation before it begins to negatively affect morale as well as my performance in the marketplace, also known as “school and social life.”

The Memo

First, a word about the incident that prompted this memo and took place at headquarters yesterday. Many of you, I know, heard it—or heard of it—and I need to clarify actual events to dispel any notion that the CEO of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises was at fault.
Because, as you know, it’s never my fault.

The Incident

The incident took place in the early morning. It concerned the crazy idea that two individuals traveling to the same school campus should to be liveried in the same vehicle, and therefore ought to be ready to depart at approximately the same time, even if one of us requires more careful and meticulous currying of my excellent hair and a careful consideration of which band T-shirt looks most awesome with my jeans.

There was yelling about did I know the price of a gallon of gas, and the driver’s own needs (not sure what that means), and something was said in a rather overwrought tone about how It’s all about you, isn’t it? 

All of this made the second and final shuttling to school tense and unpleasant, and left me grounded this weekend, which is a wholly unacceptable result of what I see as a giant misunderstanding.

Sister Subsidiary. The Easy Child Enterprise

The bottom line is that the sister involved in this situation is… well, clearly a Sister Subsidiary. Known officially as The Easy Child Enterprise, the Sister Subsidiary should be staffed and run as a separate operation, independent of the needs of Coddled Teenage Boy LLC. Especially since a tenet of that aforementioned subsidiary enterprise is Hates to Be Late, whereas at Coddled we take a much more interpretive view of the clock. 

Roles

Now that we have that out of the way, I’d like to get back to the business of this memo, which is to redefine and, in some cases, reassign the various roles each of you play in keeping this enterprise running.

As you know, we have grown in leaps and bounds over the past decade, growing literally from a Mom-and-Pop entity to a conglomerate with endless, gaping needs and demands. While it once took only one or two people to feed, diaper and bathe me, it now requires an entire staff to manage the complex operation that is my life. 

Complexity of Operation

You might think that my ability to actually use my limbs purposefully and my mastery of other basic life-skills (like the ability to read signs, or jot down a note, or climb bus stairs, or use the toilet) might allow me to exploit my own abilities and increase self-reliance. But, sadly, the answer is no. In ways that even I don’t really understand, it seems that the operation is more complicated than ever, and it requires additional resources and more staff than ever to maintain.

Last year in Math, we studied Inverse Functions, in which the sign f “acts on” a number and transforms it. Essentially, you can define the inverse of f as the function that “undoes” what f did.

New Growth

My understanding is some enterprises grow precisely like that: As new products are brought to market, or new services introduced, others are mysteriously negated. In other words, it’s not my fault that company operations have gotten multifarious and increasingly unwieldy. You can argue the application of this point, but not with me. Take it up with a mathematician.

Reorganization Plan

So without further ado, herewith the new Job Titles as reflected in this most current Reorg of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises: 

Manager of Livery Services—Dad (AM Manager), Mom (PM Manager) 

Director of English Essays, Proofing and Editing Division—Mom 

Laundry Services—Mom, Dad, Sister-When-I-Have-Something-to-Bribe-Her-With 

Homework Helpers—Mom, Dad, the Friends-Who-Actually-Take-Notes-in-Class Squad 

Personal Belonging Tracker—Mom, Dad, various friends (Gordon, Zach, Janey, Chris, etc.) in various classes who run after me when I leave my various crap behind

Shower Timer—Mom, Dad, Sister-When-She-Needs-to-Use-the-Bathroom

Forms and Paperwork, Small Details Division—Mom 

Dispenser of Petty Cash—Whichever parent drives us to the movies 

Emotional Support Team—Pretty much everyone, all the time (note on-call hours) 

The two remaining jobs still available at this time are:

Minister of Wiping My Own Butt  

Director of I’d-Forget-My-Head-If-It-Wasn’t-Attached 

Referrals welcome.

It is my dearest hope that this will help you accept and relish the critical job you have as part of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises, and see yourself for what you are: Part of my team, because we are all in this together.

As they say, there’s no “I” in “team.” And there’s no “Boy” in there, either. God knows I can’t do this on my own.

Regards, 

Coddled Teenage Boy 

p.s. Have you seen my soccer shorts? 
 

Ann Handley is Chief Content Officer of MarketingProfs as well as a writer and editor. Read more by Ann Handley at A n n a r c h y, her blog on parenting, technology, personal history, pop culture, and an occasional shot of humor:

In Case of Emergency

I Suspect Everyone Else Is Smarter, Better-Looking, Taller, Cooler, Cuter, Has Newer and Shinier Objects than I Do (and Is More Modest)

Looking for Eddie Field

Do you ever feel the way this author felt?  Did you feel taken for granted and unappreciated?  Did you try to change things in your home?   If yes, what did you do?

by Todd Jordan

In part one of this series, Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software, I talked about software suites like NetNanny. These aren’t the only tools available to parents. For those of you who are less technically inclined who may find a package of programs complicated, browser replacements are much easier to manage.

Internet Browsers

The majority, over 80%, of internet users are using Microsoft’s Internet Explorer to access and visit web sites, with a handful more using other browsers. In most cases, concerned parents are not given the expertise nor are the parental control settings adequate in these browsers. To make life a little easier for parents, especially those with younger children, easy to use browser replacements are available.

Locating And Evaluating Browser Replacements

It’s easy to locate these browser replacements by doing a good search engine search. Here is the search criteria that I used. I would like to point you to a couple of promising choices:

• KidRocket
• KidZui

I’ve only mentioned two, but there are several choices available. The key point to understand is that each bowser offers a different experience at a different price. It is worth your time to spend a little time evaluating the differences and finding the right choice for your family.

Internet Browser Replacement Features

A large part of the browser replacement experience that your family or child has is related to how the software is programed to control your Windows desktop. If we use KidRocket as an example, not only does this software replace the internet browser, it becomes your child’s entire computer experience. This type of total control software, which essentially means that when the computer is turned on, the user either is automatically routed to the appropriate software or it can be setup that this is the only software that the child can run.

KidRocket

The largest benefit of this type of software is that it totally locks down the child’s options. KidRocket comes setup with a set of allowed sites*. This is common among browser replacements. KidRocket has a demo of their browser on their site. Since this browser replacement is meant for smaller children, when the software is loaded, the child is presented with buttons that lead to the content areas. Content that is specifically controlled is one of their strongest features, but can also be a limiting one. With this software, children are only able to access pre-setup programs and are unable to explore other programs.

KidZui

An alternative approach to the locked down Windows desktop is a browser replacement such as KidZui. Their approach gives you a desktop icon only, and does not take over the entire computer. KidZui effects only the internet access portion of the computer. One of the features that is shared between both KidRocket and KidZui is that they both have a pre-setup list of approved sites. A subscription service is available which gives parents access to additional updating and reporting features. Another difference is that instead of just focusing on the browser, they make an effort to make your child’s internet experience more game-like. Like some other online games, kids can progress up to new levels, earn rewards, and participate in the community. This novel approach seeks to draw kids into the experience through positive reinforcement.

Keep Browser Replacements Age Appropriate

Both of the above browser options have committee’s of parents, teachers, and education experts that decide what is safe and appropriate. The choices include fun games, learning, and education related sites. That is a huge plus for these sites, but keep in mind the appropriate age range for each product. As kids get older their needs will change, it is important to meet those needs with a new age range appropriate solution that will keep them excited and not frustrated.

Other Considerations

If you’ve made the choice to go with a browser replacement, here are some of the factors you can use to base your family’s choice on.

• Cost – Both immediate and/or a subscription. This will vary and many choices are free.

• Control – All have pre-setup list of approved sites, but different products have the ability for you to add sites or block additional sites.

• Browser only – Is the software protection browser only or does it provide protection for the entire computer experience?

• Age appropriate – Choose a product that is tailored for your child’s age group or interest level.

Final Thoughts

What really helps many parents decide on the best solution is when the software has a free trial period. This allows you to try multiple products before making a final decision. Note: Only evaluate one product at a time. The last part in this series will be Part 3: Keeping Kids Safe – Increased Knowledge of Internet Safety. Please share any experience you have had with browser replacements. Also if you could let us know in comments if you have chosen to implement one of these products or if you already have one, how it has worked for your child. In Keeping Kids Safe -Part 1, one of our readers shared her experience with a product called iBoss which was very interesting.

by Todd Jordan

In those days, things were much simpler.

When we were growing up, what our parents worried about, when trying to keep us safe, is much different than what parents need to know today!

What Has Changed?

Parents once focused on keeping kids safe in their neighborhoods and warning them of the dangers of talking to strangers. Today’s parents still must warn and educate their children about strangers, with the difference being, that strangers now have global access. Threats can come from around the corner, a neighboring state, or across the country. Our access to the online world predominantly comes through the use of our web browsers. Popular web browsers include: Internet Explorer, Safari, and Firefox.

Through these browsers, our children don’t just have access to read content, but to view photos, download music, and to privately chat. The ability to be watchful is quickly exceeded and becomes out of our immediate reach! So what are we to do? It’s no longer as simple as keeping questionable things physically out of their reach.

Your Online Safety Arsenal

Their are numerous tools and ways for parents today to keep their children safe online. A child’s safety can be increased considerably by implementing some or all of the suggestions in our new series "Keeping Kids Safe" online. The series will consist of three main articles which are outlined below.

Keeping Kids Safe Series

Part 1: Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software
Part 2: Keeping Kids Safe – Internet Browser Replacements
Part 3: Keeping Kids Safe – Increased Knowledge of Internet Safety In this first article, "Part 1: Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software" we will use NetNanny software for our case study. Parental control software is designed to control and filter access to the internet. Let’s examine what it is and how it is used.

Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software

NetNanny is one of the top names in parental control software and won PC Magazines Editor’s Choice award. Some common features of parental control software can be seen if we review NetNanny’s features:

• Internet Access Time Controls
• Web Access Filtering
• Chat Blocking
• Easy Configuration
• Logging
• Updated Filtering Lists
• Individual User Profiles/Roles

Internet Access Time Controls Time controls are perhaps the easiest parental control tool to understand. This feature enables the parent to set time limits or ‘windows of time’ (example 4:00 pm – 8:00 pm) that their child can be on the internet. The software translates your settings and sets up the time periods when the internet is accessible and when it is not. This is ideal for parents that are unable to monitor closely all of their child’s computer use. Perhaps you would like to block the internet from 3 pm – 5 pm when your child should be doing homework. You could also set it up to only allow internet access between 7 pm and 9 pm each evening. This effectively marks out a clear time period of usage and avoids daily haggling (which we all know they will) for internet access.

Web Access Filtering Web access filtering is a little more complex. Filtering effectively means blocking access to certain web sites on the internet. The nice thing is that you, the parent don’t have to make up a list ahead of time. Each software package comes with a prebuilt list of web sites to block. The blocking lists that come with the software can have entries added to them by parents. What you’ll often find is that site blocking won’t exactly meet your needs or computing habits. A gleaming example of this is a search on ‘breast cancer.’ Likely results will contain both sites you’d like your child to be able to access and those even you would want to avoid. NetNanny and other packages often block web sites that contain key words in the site name, such as ‘breast.’ That would include most sites for breast cancer research and support. For this every reason, the software will allow parents to ‘white-list’ a certain site and let them include the site in the allow list.

Chat Blocking 

Chat blocking is a third prong of parental control software. Chat blocking controls have their own built in filtering. Each software package handles it a bit different, but generally this tool allows blocking chat completely as their maximum and then minimally it can block a specific buddy or a list of buddies. Many of the packages allow control at the buddy level. This permits parents to lock down who their child can chat with. You could arrange ahead of time with the other parents to allow your children to chat, and exchange their IDs. This method is probably the next safest besides completely blocking chat. Chat rooms can be blocked as well as certain chat networks. Parents can research ahead of time which chat areas they feel are safe, and just allow those. Many chat rooms are not monitored or don’t screen the participants.

Easy Configuration Easy configuration is a hallmark of these types of packages. NetNanny and the others come with default settings, filtered web sites, and chat. These can be put in place with just one-click. These settings are password protected and in some software, is hidden from regular computer users.

Logging Logging is one of the most important features in any parental control software. Logging is the recording of sites visited and blocked, as well as a log of the chat that records what was written. Checking the logs on a routine basis will alert you to the sites your child is visiting and the ones they are attempting to visit. Children love to explore their boundaries, and the Internet is no exception. By reviewing the logs, patterns will become obvious and you can nip-that-in the-bud quickly. Chat room logging is very helpful. Remember, it isn’t about prying into your child’s private life, but protecting them from predators. Skimming through chat logs regularly is a quick way to discover who is talking with your child online and what they’re discussing. Key words can also alert you to problems. Several software packages in this category allow for key word alerts over the logs, reducing the need to review every line within the chat.

Updated Filtering Lists Blocking lists aren’t static and don’t stay the same. With new slang and abbreviations that are so popular, you will need to update your list. NetNanny for example provides a subscription for periodic and annual updates to their filter lists.

Individual User Profiles/Roles Configuration really boils down to establishing profiles or roles, such as parent/administrator, and child/user. Each profile or role will have settings for filtering. Thus all children in a household could share one role or each be given their own.

Getting Started

Features aside, parental control software is a great first step to protecting your family in their online adventures. It is recommend that parents find a package they like after reviewing several detailed product reviews that contain in-depth tool descriptions. Another option is to use a search engine and search for the terms ‘parental control software’. Getting started today is made even easier by the fact that each of these packages encourages try before you buy options. These options range from a few days to a couple of weeks. Be sure you only try one parental control software program at a time. In the second part of this series, I’ll be discussing another type of software tool, alternate web browsers. So come back after you’ve given those other tools a spin.

Todd’s BIO: Todd’s blog is The Broad Brush and his interests include activities with his church, online safety and awareness, social media, and multimedia.

Do you have parental control software on your computer? If yes, what ages are your children and why did you feel it was necessary? Which software did you buy? Are you satisfied with the software or thinking of looking again?

For those of you who do not have the software, is there an age of your children that you would buy it? Do you have other ways of monitoring their use? Please share with the group in comments, this is a very important topic.

We hope to get a great conversation started!

by Jeremy Biser

Photo by Jeremy Biser

A few years ago, I didn’t even know what “social media” was.

I read the newspaper, a few magazines and when I went online it was for work or to manage my fantasy sports teams. I thought a blog was something that people used to share pictures with their family members, and My Space was the place where pervs and wannabe musicians hung out to seduce young girls.

Looking Back

The “social” online environments did not have a positive connotation for me, and so I was blinded to the potential benefits.

Looking back, I’m disappointed at my own ignorance. I wish I would have started a blog 4 or 5 years ago. I wish I would have discovered Digg or StumbleUpon or Technorati when they first launched. I wish I wouldn’t have grounded my teenage daughter for 2 weeks when I found out she created a My Space page and lied about her age on it.

Well… I still would have grounded her, but only for lying and not because she went into the predators’ lair, as I thought it was at the time.

Looking Forward

Fast forward to today, and I’m proud to be known as a “tech savvy parent.” I’m the guy that my neighbors, friends and family members come to for advice about the Internet, blogs, using social networks and kids’ use of all of these types of technology. I often share new sites and tools, like MyBabyOurBaby or KidZui, with my personal network, and I’ve helped dozens of fellow parents set-up new blog sites.

How have I gone from clueless to clued-in? I publish multiple blogs, including Discovering Dad and Husbands & Dads, and I utilize various social media sites and applications as part of my daily routine. I also have a Facebook page, and ironically enough, my teenage daughter designed and helps update my My Space page.

The Social Media That I Use

In addition, each morning, I run through a series of online communication updates, including checking e-mail, my RSS reader, Lifestyle and Technology categories, Popular and Interests categories, Alerts and Technorati blog reactions to my sites. Throughout the day, I also use Twitter and StumbleUpon when I have a minute or two free in between other tasks and responsibilities. All of this while working from home and taking care of the kids – I juggle a lot of balls throughout the day.I have never felt more productive yet simultaneously balanced in my life, and I owe a big part of it to the effective use of these many technologies.

Basically, in a little more than two years, I went from social media idiot to social media expert (I use that term lightly and comparatively – I’m no Chris Brogan).

So, how does all of this “social media” stuff help me be a better dad?

1. Flexibility - many of these technologies have helped me to create a career that is extremely flexible. The Internet never sleeps, so I don’t have to try and cram my work into “normal business hours.” Instead, if I need to spend three hours exclusively taking care of the kids, then that’s what I do. If I want to take my kids to the park in the middle of the afternoon and then walk over to the ice cream shop, I do it. The majority of work I do is done after the kids go to bed, and that’s fine with me.

2. Connectivity - my oldest daughter lives a few thousand miles away from us with her mother, so when she’s not here during breaks and the summer we complement our phone conversations and texting messages and photos through My Space. She has also written a few posts for my Discovering Dad site, and I write about her often. I also communicate with friends and family members through various social networks and Twitter. When I relied exclusively on cell phones and e-mail, I might talk to people once every two weeks. Now, I talk to many family members and friends every day.

3. Purpose – I publish two sites, in particular, with a specific focus on being a better husband and father. Discovering Dad is about “learning what it means to be a good dad.” Husbands & Dads is a site “where it’s cool to be a family man.” I have met some incredible people through these sites, and I feel a sense of purpose in creating interesting content for them. I have done more research on fatherhood and parenting in the last year than I ever could have imagined, and I’ve learned a ton of great tips and insights to being a good dad from my fellow dad bloggers. I’ve also learned much about myself along the way. I have a mission to make a positive difference in world by encouraging men to live well and become better husbands and dads.

4. Resources – I find tons of relevant resources about being a better husband and dad throughout the various social media sites and applications that I use. And, the things I like best about this information is that it always comes with a recommendation of a friend. Think about it – how much more likely are you to try something new if a trusted friend recommends it? The same theory applies to information gathered in the social media world. I find new and interesting information about fatherhood on a daily basis that I would never have found in the past, prior to using social media sites and tools.

5. Feedback – my kids tell me when I mess up all of the time, so it’s nice to bounce ideas off of others or share things that have worked really well for me with people through my blogs or Twitter or one of the social network sites. I love the interactive nature of it all. Most of my off-line dad friends are very reserved, and not many of them like to talk about fatherhood or family in any sort of detail. I think they believe it will make them seem weak or vulnerable, or that I’ll ask them to turn in their man cards for showing emotions. Dads are different online – emboldened by their pseudonyms or anonymity. They are more willing to talk about issue of importance to them honestly and openly, and they let me know what they think of my thoughts or writing. It is an incredible learning environment in which dialogue happens instantaneously, even if it is only in 140 characters or less (Twitter).

6. Understanding – my kids are going to grow up using all of these tools and more. I don’t want to be the parent who doesn’t understand both the positive and negative aspects of these sites and tools. It’s easier for me to help my kids, if I know how to guide them in anything in life. Also, it’s better for both me and them if I know how to monitor their use of various technologies.

My Virtual Power Shake

Put all of these things together, and it makes a virtual power shake that energizes and inspires me to be a better dad (husband, worker, man and citizen too). The benefits of social media extend far beyond the business world, even into the realm of good parenting. Tech savvy parents are able to not only improve the productivity and efficiency of their own lives, but also find new and exciting ways to stay connected with their kids.

If you’re not using these tools, I encourage you to set aside a few hours one rainy Saturday and test out some of these tools. Ask your kids what social sites and applications that they are using. Sign-up for accounts with the same sites. Ask your kids to give you a tutorial – they’ll think it’s cool (and scary that mom or dad is interested in the same things they are).

Learning to use a variety of social media technologies has definitely helped me feel like a better dad and a remarkable parent.

Jeremy’s BIO: I’m also on the Buzzboard (Advisory Board) for a social networking community called cre8Buzz, and I manage content for another social network for artists called Artistic Pursuit.

What are your thoughts? Would you allow your children to use social media? Would you put any rules on it’s useage? Would you want to see the page and profile they create on My Space or Facebook?

Share your comments with us …. We’re interested in how other parents feel. Please share your child’s age if that bears on the situation.

by Ann Handley

In her new book released last fall, “Deceptively Delicious,” Jessica Seinfeld slips chick peas into her chocolate chip cookies and purees butternut squash into her mac and cheese. The general premise is tat kid food is fried and white. But if you slip in something on the sly — say cauliflower into mashed potatoes, or sweet potato into pancakes — then you can trick your kids into eating the stuff you want them to, minus the tantrums and tears.

Jessica, who is married to the comic Jerry Seinfeld, was in the news a few months ago because Missy Chase Lapine, who authored a similar book called “The Sneaky Chef,” insists that “Deceptively Delicious” is nothing but a riff on her ideas. The Seinfeld’s contest as much.

But whatever. The problem isn’t whether Jessica was the first mother to hide flaxseed in chicken nuggets and then write about it. The problem is that, as Wall Street Journal’s Raymond Sokolov wrote, “These women treat vegetables the way Victorian mothers treated sex, with silence.”

Or, as Stefania Pomponi Butler wrote, “The bottom line is this: I don’t want my food to be deceptively delicious. I want it to be delicious. Full stop.”

In other words, instead of encouraging kids to try new foods, or simply setting them on the table, the cookbooks infantilize kids’ taste by both removing choices and pandering to the lowest common denominator in their developing palates. Instead of simply setting vegetables on the dinner table, gloriously naked and recognizable, the authors suggest that you pull one over on your kids and veil the veggies as something else entirely: mac and cheese, nuggets, pancakes. You know the stuff.

Food is only part of it. A year or so ago, Verizon launched a new cell-phone service that will alert you if your kids wander beyond a perimeter that you set for them. Around that time, the Boston Globe wrote about how state and national ruling bodies for youth soccer leagues have recommended that scores and standings not be kept in under-10 leagues, saying it’s best not to track “winners” and “losers.” My 11-year-old daughter’s town soccer team doesn’t keep score, either.

All of these seemingly unrelated things are, in my view, linked. They seem to speak to good intentions gone slightly awry: as if our need to protect our kids has morphed into a tendency to infantilize them. I wonder – about my own two kids and their friends and the generation at large – are we doing them any favors? Is all of this supervision and control and hiding vegetables helping them grow up? Or is it really keeping them young?

My own two kids, at 11 and 16, have little of the freedom I did at their age. It’s not that their afternoons are packed with lessons and tutoring and practices. Because they aren’t… although we have our share of all three. It’s just that their lives are more choreographed and coordinated than mine ever was. The older one has a cell phone, and the younger one covets it. She doesn’t yet have a sense of how much a cell phone can cramp a kid’s style or, at the very least, limit the ability to run amuck.

Occasionally I compare this to my own 16-year-old self: when I was my son’s age, I had a lot more freedom (and flat-out free time). I’d already made some teenage mistakes and learned from them; I’d already experienced a few things in life that I’m certain – more or less — my son hasn’t. Nothing anything truly serious, but enough to raise the hairs on the back of my neck.

With access to the Internet and technology, my son may be more sophisticated than I was at his age. But frankly, I was wiser.

Which is frustrating for a parent to realize, and it makes me wonder about the ripple effects of our supervised playtimes, hidden vegetables, and cell-phone leashes. It also makes me wonder what the downside is to a culture increasingly skewed toward staying younger longer.

Sure, 40 is the new 30. But is 18 the new 8?

As Sokolov writes, “Very few childhood bedwetters go off to college with rubber sheets. Picky eaters also mature….”

That is, if we let them.

Ann Handley is Chief Content Officer of MarketingProfs as well as a writer and editor.

Read more by Ann Handley at A n n a r c h y, her blog on parenting, technology, personal history, pop culture, and an occasional shot of humor:

Beta Before Alpha

“Hey Pretty Lady!”

A Virgin in Hollister

The Shadow Knows: Watching Superbad with my Son

American Idolatry

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The phrase role model is all about doing and the children of the millenium are watching!

“Parents, get out your paper and pencils.

I am going to tell you the most important thing you will ever need to know about raising children!”
[Parents wait breathlessly for answers and words of wisdom]

“Example. Example. Example” — Fritz Redl, Child Psychologist

The evidence is in, various researchers, psychologists, educators, and other professionals have spoken and it is what it is.

Good or bad it’s you!

It’s not only you as a parent, but you in your other roles; as an aunt, a coach, a mentor, as your child’s friends parent, girl scout leader, or bible study school volunteer.

Reevaluating Our Decision Making

There are great advantages for us when we choose to re-evaluate our own decision making patterns and ask ourselves hard questions about our personality and behavior.

The most important advantage is that we will make better decisions! Those decisions that we make more than once and ask ourselves ‘why did I do that again?’. Feeling that way is one of the first indicators that I used to re-evaluate my own life.

The way I have personally accomplished this, was to question and challenge everything that I have accepted on blind faith or that I have adopted out of tradition or history.

I think you will be as surprised as I was at the number of choices that involve patterns of doing things a certain way simply because someone else, who didn’t know anymore about the topic than you do, did it that way.

You will find things that withstand the challenge of your questioning and reevaluating. These patterns that have withstood the challenge, should be embraced and continued.

Really Living vs. Existing

The second question I have asked myself while reading the book “Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters” by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. , which was pretty ugly was am I really living life or does my life resemble someone who is merely existing?

Below are some of the characteristics and a brief sentence describing the difference between really living and existing.

Existing: Instinctual, reactive, involuntary, repetitive, and routine.
A life of merely existing is “living life with the main goal of getting from one day to the next”.

Living: Using knowledge, sharpened skills, conscious decision-making that is part of a larger goal.
When you are really living you exercise challenged skills, attitudes, and abilities that you have built to a level of being sharp and focused.

To truly understand if we are really living, merely existing, or are somewhere in between, we need to know or learn why we make the decisions we make.

* Do we make our decisions with or without the necessary information and skills to create the results we desire?

* Do you know or can you learn why you do what you do, and don’t do what you don’t do?

Solid Framework

I think we all realize how important role models have been in our own lives and how important it is for us to make the best decisions that we can, example the behavior we want our children to emulate, and live our lives fully everyday.

“When parents talk about discipline, they mean a rigid set of rules to prevent their children from misbehaving.

But the only discipline worthy of the name lies in providing a solid framework of ideals—not for the child to live up to, but for the parents to live within.

You can beat children until they are black and you are blue, but it cannot make them any better than the examples they see around them every day.” — Sydney J. Harris, Chicago News columnist

The framework should reflect our own values and be a transparent view of who we really are. Although many times it seems like we must be perfect, we all know that is not possible and I’ve found people are usually understanding when you just come clean. They can’t understand what they don’t know.

Moving Forward

Moving forward, we can only do our best. The past is the past and the future is full of possibilities, growth, and opportunity.

That’s what remarkable parents is all about. It’s not about whether you are a ‘remarkable parent’ right now, we were never trained to be parents. There is no guide.

What’s important is that you are trying, growing, and place great importance on your family. That’s the foundation of being a remarkable parent.

They are growing as you are growing.

It all happens so fast and at the same time, but don’t be discouraged, they are so worth it!

What do you think?

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