by Sara Puls

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” —  Mahatma Gandhi

In June of this year, a teenage girl in New York City was charged with arson, burglary, criminal trespass and felony aggravated animal cruelty after she broke into her ex-roommate’s apartment seeking revenge. Among other destructive actions, she confessed that she put her alleged ex-girlfriend’s kitten in the oven to die and afterward told investigators “I hate cats.”

Animal Abuse Statistics

According to a 1997 study by the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) and Northeastern University, animal abusers are:

• 5x’s more likely to commit violent crimes against people
• 5x’s more likely to commit property crimes

Does this mean that if a child abuses an animal that they are guaranteed to grow up and become a criminal?

Not necessarily, but animal abuse can be an indicator of a deeper problem and it does mean that animal abuse needs to be taken seriously.

How Children May View Animals

Children need to be taught appropriate ways to interact with pets and to be respectful of pets and wildlife roaming in your neighborhood.

Set A Great Example

1. Never hit, shake, jerk or yell at your family pet – your child learns most of their behaviors by observing you.
2. If you overreact in anger toward your pet, show your child that it’s all right to apologize to the pet just as you would apologize to a person.
3. Do not ignore or dismiss pet-unfriendly actions. When dealt with as though they’ve committed a serious offense, most children will not repeat the behavior.
4. If you notice a child harassing or abusing an animal, it’s important to put a stop to it right away!   Treat it seriously even if it doesn’t seem that the animal was really harmed. Depending on the age and intent of the child, some of these could be innocent behaviors, but the opportunity should be used as a teachable moment to ensure the child understands that harassing animals is unacceptable.

Discuss Inappropriate Behavior

Some inappropriate behaviors that you should discuss with your child include:

1. Chasing a fleeing animal
2. Locking a pet in a closet
3. Leaving a pet outdoors for an extended period of time
4. Painting a pet’s body

Beyond Inappropriate Behavior

Some behaviors can indicate a more serious problem, especially if performed habitually or out of anger.

These behaviors may indicate a need for professional help:

1. Giving a pet medications or harmful foods to see what effect it will have
2. Placing a tight rubber band around a paw or tail
3. Putting a small animal in a washing machine, microwave or other appliance
4. Staging fights between dogs or letting one animal chase another
5. Taking pleasure in seeing a frightened or suffering pet
6. Responding to adult reprimands by engaging in hostile acts toward the pet
7. Burning an animal
8. Teasing an animal with firecrackers
9. Repeatedly showing off the inhumane handling of a pet to others
10. Putting an animal in dangerous situations, such as dangling her outside a window or bringing her into the road

What To Do

If you are aware that a child has engaged in the harassment or abuse of an animal:

1.   A simple, clear statement such as, “We don’t hurt animals” is far more effective than lecturing.

2.  Use the same serious tone of voice that you would use if you saw your child running across the street without stopping to look for oncoming traffic.

3.  If your teenager involves the family dog in high-risk activities such as dog fighting, not only should you intervene, but check in to see if your child is being influenced by alcohol, drugs, gambling or other unhealthy behaviors that involve peer pressure.

Remember that for most children, learning empathy and respect toward animals is part of the normal socialization process; they learn these behaviors the same way as learning how to treat other children.

However, if your child persists in harassing or harming your pet in spite of your repeated corrections, consult with your pediatrician, psychiatrist or psychologist.

If your child is an animal lover, the ASPCA has a fun and informational site, called Animaland for kids who want to learn more about how they can help animals and prevent and report animal abuse.

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Related Posts:

• ABC’s Of Empathy:  Teaching Kids To Care -   American Humane
• Animal Cruelty and Family Violence: Making the Connection -  The Humane Society of the United States
• What Pets Can Teach -  Parents Canada
• Understanding the Link Between Animal Abuse and Family Violence -   American Humane

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Guest Author Bio:

Sara Puls is the creator and community manager of BrewCityTails.com, an online community for pet lovers in Southeastern Wisconsin.

She has a B.A. in Psychology & Sociology, a Master’s Degree in Urban Planning, nine years of experience as a parent and over 15 years experience as a pet parent.   She is an expert in bird care and small animal behavior and care, and has provided foster care for dogs and cats.

You can find Sara and @brewcitytails on Twitter and Facebook.

Let’s Talk

What lessons have you learned from pets?

I’m sure love and companionship, but we all know our pets give us much more. We hope you will share your stories with us and our readers in the comments.

My 5-year old son loves his leapfrog.

He loves playing Batman and Diego and entering his name as the “highest scorer” at the end of each game (well, most games).  He also enjoys playing PBS Kids games and the games at KidsAreHeroes.com.

Playing Video Games

And while I’m not a child psychologist, I believe that too much time in front of a video game, is not good for his development. I also believe that the most important thing I can give my son, and what he really wants the most, is my attention.

So we’ve developed the habit of frequently playing these games together.

This allows us to connect with each other on his terms. Plus it allows me to be the game’s “teaching assistant”.

Playing Together Developing our own Games

As we played together, these games would start to “play out” in the other activities we did:

Drawing pictures
Very naturally, my son started drawing pictures of the characters in the video games. He outlined the bowling lanes, the race car tracks, the mazes. This allowed him another way to understand what he was learning. Drawing also allowed me to extend my role of “assistant teacher” into these drawing activities.

Playing games outside
Instead of teaching my son the rules of a game he wasn’t interested in (i.e. Baseball or Soccer), I allowed him to make up the rules. The soccer ball because a cannon ball. Wiffle ball bats became robot arms. He decided how points were won (which was always in his favor…).

Grocery shopping
We developed a habit of counting apples by twos and threes just like he was learning in his games.  We started sounding out the words on cereal boxes. We turned the shopping isles into a giant maze.

Is There a Solution?

I guess my point with all this is that, as parents, often hear  how bad TV and video games are for our kids, but we too quickly conclude that the “solution” to this problem is to “just watch less”.

As a culture, we don’t want to admit that neglecting our kids could be the real problem (ouch!).  We rarely consider other ways to approach the “Too much TV; too many video games” problem. What I learned through my own experience (and again, I’m no Einstein), is that there are ways to naturally bring the attention away from the screen.

Instead of trying to pull them away from the video game, why not join them?  See to understand your child – and the games they play – on their terms.

The validation alone is worth the time spent.

My son’s Karate teacher, Sensei Craig, said something to me one night that always sticks in my mind:

“What kids want more than anything in the world is your time. They want this more than any toy or video game.”

By making my son’s agenda our number one focus, I’ve learned how to better connect with him, and have a great time learning from each other!

Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

John Haydon is a single father of a 6 year old boy and runs his own business advising non-profits, small business and social entrepreneurs on how to implement inbound marketing strategies with the social web. If you would like to contact John you can find him on Twitter at @johnhaydon or visit  his web site.

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Related Posts:

• Video Games: Preschoolers, Gradeschoolers, Pre-teens, and teens (PBS.org)
• What Are You Putting At Stake as a Parent? (RemarkableParents.com)
• Parents’ Involvement Key To Motivating Students
• Connecting Parents, Kids & Books

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First Meeting and First Outing (Sherry & Renee)

“Mentoring is not just your relationship between you and the child, but their relationship with their environment (parents, siblings, friends. and authority).”

This post is another building block after Mentoring Comes From the Heart, so if you would like to know who Renee is please read that post first.  Furthermore, I’ve written two more posts on my website about A Mentoring Heart, which is about the day we met; and Responsible for Someone Child, which is about our first outing. 

Lessons Learned

During the 11 years that I mentored I learned a lot about parenting and I’m also doing some of the same things with my boys that I did with Renee.  Some of the lessons my mentoring experience taught me were:

1.  Kids are more respectful to those who respect them.
2.  Kids learn more by mirroring what they see not what you say.
3.  Kids truly want to please adults.
4.  Kids need positive feedback more than negative.
5.  Kids want and need quality time with you.
6.  Kids need to feel special.

Most Valuable Lesson

The most valuable thing I did was getting to know Renee’s family.  By doing that I got a glimpse of her family life and I was able to help her when she struggled with family relationships with her sisters and parents..

Every time I would pick Renee up and spend some quality time with her I would take the extra time and go inside and spend time with the family too.  Usually one of her three older sisters would have something to show me, or something they needed to tell me.  I would also chat with her Mom and see how she was feeling or she would specifically ask me help her with a behavior issue or schoolwork with Renee. 

Then there was the step Father, who was in jail for the first year I knew Renee.  When he was released I made it a point to get to know him and show interest in things he was interested in.  He loved fresh water aquariums and I had one too!  There was my opportunity!

Parallel’s With Parenting

Here is one example of many parallels . . .

Now that almost all of my sons are in school I’m staying plugged into their lives not only here at home but at school too.  Here is the parallel.  Since I’m already the parent and know their home life I need to be plugged into the times where there away from me, which in this occasion is school.  During the school year I stay in contact with the teacher and volunteer once a week. 

By creating a relationship with the teacher I learn her style of teaching and how she runs her classroom.  By knowing this I can better help my sons if they are struggling or have a concern. 

Secondly by volunteering I’m blessed with the opportunity to get to know the other kids that he spends his day with.  That way if he’s struggling with a particular child I have some insight on their personality, and how to better help the situation.  Furthermore, I hole heartedly believe if the other kids know me they are more likely to be nice to my son and not bully him.  

So as you can see this parallel in this example is to be “plugged in“, in all aspects of their lives, which not only makes for a good mentor, but also a Remarkable Parent.  Wow look at how I fit that right in there!  j/k

What I Got

So for me being a mentor was nothing less than a gift for my family and our future in many ways.  Such as:

*  I learned just as much or more from Renee as she learned from me.

*  I began to think about the type of parent I waned to be prior to having kids.

*  I had an insight on how much children mirror and pay attention to your actions more than your words, because it was cute when I would see myself in Renee.

And there’s soooooo much more!

If you’ve ever thought of being a mentor you will be amazed with how much you learn and can incorporate into your life, how much the child learns, and the biggest gift of all is seeing the child succeed in their hopes and dreams. 

Renee was 7 years old when I met her, she was held back in 3rd grade but still graduated in her original graduation year, and is how a Military Police officer in the Air Force.  What a gift both her and I received by being a part of each others lives (as I smile with a tear in my eye).

There are a variety of different organizations that can assist you in becoming a mentor if you‘re interested in creating a mentoring story of your own.

Mentor.org: Life Coaches For Kids:
Mentor Net: Boys & Girls Clubs of America:

 Let’s Talk

What have you learned from a child?   There are many ways to be a mentor, mentors are coaches, boy scout leaders,  sunday school teachers and many others that I’m forgetting.

Help us list examples of giving back to a child in your life, what you have done and how you feel it has enriched both of your lives.

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Related Posts:

• Being a Role Model is More Important Than Being a Celebrity (Dadomatic.com)
• What Are You Putting At Stake as a Parent?  (RemarkableParents.com)
• Are You a Good Role Model? (parenting.com)
• A Parents Job as a Role Model (healthyplace.com)

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 Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

Sherry Martz is a 36 year old wife and mother of three sons who lives on a black angus cattle farm in Indiana.  Since 1997 she’s been a mentor to an inner city young lady who is now in the Air Force.   Sherry is an active volunteer at her sons’ school on a weekly basis and helps kids who are struggling and need extra 1 on 1 attention.  She and her husband own two successful businesses for which she does the administrative end.

If you would like to contact Sherry you can find her on Twitter at @citychiconafarm or visit  her website City Chick on a Farm.

by Todd Jordan

In the previous articles we’ve talked about a variety of tools you could use to keep your kids safe online. There are browsers, suites, and toolbars, but each requires something not included in the package.  

That something is parental involvement.

Increase Your Knowledge

Internet safety is more about knowledge of the pitfalls and coming along side children instead of waging a war of prevention.  Each of the tools already mentioned require downloading, installing, setup, and monitoring.

That said, they lull parents into a false sense of security.  They make us tend to set and forget, and hope for the best.  What can we do to step out off attrition mode?

Get safety smart and get involved.

Get Safety Smart … Get Involved

So what’s a parent to do to get educated and take part?

I recommend play!   You can have a good time and learn a bit at the same time, so dig in!

Get an account on your kid’s favorite network  – (let’s take Faceboook for example, very popular these days)

 Step 1:  Set up your profile

1. Don’t share your birthdate – real friends will know, for the rest it doesn’t matter

2. Don’t share your phone number – again, your real life friends should already have this

3. Leave the address information blank – it adds no value, and those that need to know do

4. Leave the Political views blank – not only do your friends know, this is a magnet for trouble

5. Religious views – this is a safe one to fill in – but realize this won’t ward off folks of opposite beliefs

6. Instant message – leave it blank to start with

7. Work and college info – leave it blank – this is not picked up on by Facebook except for ads – there is no automatic connection with others involved

       
      A little more common sense about our profile

• What is in your profile is visible and searchable by others, at least in part?

• When you make someone a contact, they have much higher access to your profile information.

• Leaving fields blank isn’t dishonest. (Don’t be trapped into the myth that only predators keep information private)

• Anything shared with your profile that’s public is not only searchable, but likely to be permanently available in Internet archives.

Step 2:  Find your child’s profile and add them as a contact
Don’t give them a choice on this one. ( It’s not cool for most children, but don’t let that deter you)

Have them make you a friend.  – This will give you greater access to what they’ve posted in their profile and what they share on that service.

Step 3:  Invite them to a game – this the fun part

1.  Find something age appropriate

2.  Find something they like to play

3.  Don’t badger them about it.

Step 4: Leave them alone - Note: This is the hardest step

That’s right – don’t pester them, constantly write on their wall, or send them messages.  They live with you!

1.  Don’t ignore them.  Leaving them alone does not mean not checking in on them. This is where having them as friends on Facebook comes in handy.

2.  Read their wall posts. 

3.  Check their status updates.  This will allow you to see what they write about.

4.  Breathe.  Yes, once you start reading what your children have to say, breathe.  Your kids are going to talk about things that might make you uneasy or wonder if they are your child.  Step back and compare what you’re reading online to what you see in person.  Apply common sense.

5.  Don’t confront them online.  Trust me, this crosses so many boundaries it isn’t worth the trouble. Key is that it calls them out in front of their peers.  That will be an immediate trust destroyer.   Do your talking offline and away from the computer.

So you’ve signed onto your first social network and you and your child aren’t total enemies yet.  That’s really good, but now what? 

It’s a patience game, the next step to online safety is patient observation.

Getting Involved…  Patient Observation

Before we go on, here’s a tip, ‘poking’ is not usually a stand in word for Sex.  Poking is a social tool on Facebook, and other networks to essentially be a virtual poke just like you’d poke someone in real life with your finger, akin to a nudge. That is all on that.

* Watch the groups they join - Facebook, and other social networks online provide chat rooms and groups to join. Pay close attention to which ones she joins. Facebook doesn’t police these groups, nor are they locked by age or other criteria. If you can’t tell by the description if it’s safe, only then join it yourself.

* Watch what applications they add - 99% of Facebook applications are harmless fun and timewasters – few should cause concern. Here the worry is more about age appropriate. There are adult games out there. Oh, you won’t find nudity, but lots of sexual innuendo and sex related topics show their face. Many applications involve a blase attitude towards violence. Use your best judgement.

Note: these applications can be addictive. Beware adding too many to your own profile.

* Check out what they post – All social networks allow posting text, but Facebook allows posting of video, recordings, and pictures as well. It also encourages link sharing. The thing you’re watching for here more than them talking about sex, or other things test the waters with, but is your child being safe in what they share

1.  Are they sharing their address, even remotely close?

2.  Are they telling their age?

3.  Are they giving out their full name and ways to reach them?

4.  Are they arranging to meet people you don’t know or know aren’t safe?

5.  What are other people sharing with your child

Article Wrapup…  Main Takeaways

Joining your son or daughter on social networks is just one way to get closer to them and minimize the risks of their online life.  That won’t always be possible, nor is every community going to be one you’ll feel comfortable joining. 

The tips and tricks above though can be applied in general towards your shared experience with them.

* Be careful what you share – Name, age, address and phone number are the most important ones to be careful with.  Predators of all types will latch onto this information.

* Be careful where you go – Not all groups and communities are problems, but some are more trouble than others. Set the same standards for yourself that you set for your child here.  Avoid obvious pitfalls such as ‘adult’ rooms, and rooms you’d wouldn’t want your teen to visit.

* Be careful who you friend – Just as you will keep back some of your information for safety, others will keep it back for more devious reasons. Watch who you daughter talks to online by observing the conversations you can.  Likewise, don’t trust someone you talk to with too much personal information.  If you aren’t in person friends already, no reason to give out too much.  Kids make this mistake a lot.

* Looks for early signs of trouble – This goes along with some of the above as well. Be wary of folks asking constantly for full name, address, age, or phone number. Keep on the lookout for those sharing photos of themselves that are provocative or increasingly so. Also, if they’ve got something that they need money for, that’s another sign of potential trouble. Kids are easily taken in by their desire to help.

All in all, being online isn’t the riskiest place in the world, but the ease of access makes it easily accessible for trouble makers.  Think about it as a huge social mixer with folks you don’t know. If you wouldn’t share it or take it on board from those folks, then don’t do it online.

This series has been fun to write and made me really set down and think.  Thank you Vicky for inviting me to tackle such an important subject, and thank you readers for coming on board.  I’ve appreciated the feedback and suggestions and can’t wait to visit here again.

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Related Posts:

• Facebook Tutorial – The Basics  (ParentPowerIndex.com)
• Bridging The Communication Divide With Blogging (ParentPowerIndex.com)
• How Using Social Media Has Helped Me Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• How Social Media Has Taught Me To Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• If 40 Is The New 30, Is 18 The New 8 (RemarkableParents.com)

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Featured Guest Writer BIO:

Todd’s blog is The Broad Brush and his interests include activities with his church, online safety and awareness, social media, and multimedia. 

He is  an avid social media user and  a member of the Christian Men of Twitter.

I’m a single dad.

I see my son Thursday through Saturday night and sometimes Sundays. Because of my limited time with him, it’s important that I focus my time with him in the best possible way. But this is not as easy as it sounds.

Managing My Time

In addition to being a Dad, I also run my own business.  I  consult with  non-profits and businesses on how to use social media to get more customers.  There are times when my customer workload keeps me up until 1:00AM.  There are also times when business is slow, but I’m still up late using the inbound marketing strategies that I teach. In either case, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about making my time with my son 100% about him – not Twitter, my Blog or LinkedIn.   I’ve learned these things the hard way, which is how I learn most effectively. These are five lessons that I’ve learned that help me make 100% of the time with my son about him.

Five Time Management Tips That Work

1.  Create High Barriers To Distraction

Sounds simple enough, right?

Not so easy though, as I’m sure you’ve found.

For me, closing the laptop is not enough.  I need to take the darn thing on tuck it way up high above the kitchen cabinet – where it’s really hard for me to get it back down.

This essentially creates a higher barrier for me to even begin to entertain checking email or Twitter.

2.  Work in Short Spurts

On the weekends, if I have to do work, I’ve learned to keep it within short bursts.  This way, the majority of time is spent together – enjoying each other.

Two or three (max) mini work sessions  is what works for me.  My son is almost six – he needs my attention – a lot!

3.  Focus On One Task

If I need to get a project done, I’ll focus my time on that one task – to the exclusion of everything else – in a couple of 30-minute blocks of time throughout the day

It seems that 30 minutes is also the limit for my son.

To help me, I use a kitchen timer, which I like because the ticking noise ads that extra sense of urgency.

4.  Set Clear Expectations

When I set clear expectations, my son feels safe and loved.

If I say to my son, "I need to do some work for a while", he’s more likely to ask for my attention every five minutes.

But, If I say that I’m going to work for 30 minutes, then close my laptop, and then take him to the park, he’s much more likely to keep himself busy until I’m done.

5.  Show Your Appreciation

When I do have to work, even for a 30-minute burst, I always say express appreciation to my son.

"Thank you so much for letting me get some work done."

"You’re becoming such a big boy!"

"I’m so proud of you."

Obviously this makes him feel great – and goes way beyond mere positive reinforcement.   Praise builds happy confident children, which is way more important than any job or client project.

Creating His Childhood And Our Lives

Finally, I remind myself that the days I spend with my son are his childhood. How much love, connection, praise and support, can I give him during these crucial years. This is his childhood!  What kind of memories am I creating with him?

Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

John Haydon is a single father of a 6 year old boy and runs his own business advising non-profits, small business and social entrepreneurs on how to implement inbound marketing strategies with the social web. If you would like to contact John you can find him on Twitter at @johnhaydon or visit  his web site.

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Related Posts:

• Who Taught My Kid That Four Letter Word (RemarkableParents.com)
• How Social Media Has Taught Me To Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• Fostering Appreciation in Children (kidsgrowth.com)
• Day 15 of 15 Days of Work/Life Balance: Lessons Learned (jessicaknows.com)

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Quality time is so important.  Do you have any tips that you use to stay focused- at work?  with family?  during your alone time?

A study of 1,000 young people for Big Brothers Big Sisters showed that, compared to other groups, children with mentors were

• 46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs
• 27% less likely to begin using alcohol
• 53% less likely to skip school
• 33% less likely to engage in school violence

In addition to the above statistics, mentored children also showed improved relationships with both their peers and their family’s.

A Mentor’s Story

Disheartening statistics isn’t what lured me into becoming a mentor, but my personality traits of  being helpful, having a giving heart, and believing in volunteer work that I believe sparked my interest in becoming a mentor.

A friend had mentioned that she had been a ‘Big Sister’ in her early 20s.   At that time I was 24 and had been on my own and supporting myself for 5 years.  I realized that I had extra time to take on a commitment like mentoring a child and after all the paperwork and background checks had been done, I spoke with a BBBS counselor named Neal with the Big Brothers & Big Sisters organization, .

Since it was Neal’s job was to match me with a Little Sister, I made sure he knew that I wanted the youngest girl available.  I had decided this wasn’t going to be ‘just a mentoring‘ relationship but instead a ‘lifelong friend‘.

Renee

On August 16, 1997 I met Renee.  She was 7 years old, which is younger than BBBS’s 8 year old requirement, but because of extending circumstances she was allowed to enter the program early.

The girls’ mother, in my opinion, gave her girls the best gift she could ever give them, especially since she was terminally ill, Renee and her three older sisters all had Big Sisters.

In the years to come not only did I help her with homework, take her places, make special projects, but I also made sure I got to know her family to help her understand and manage the relationships she had with her sisters, mother, and step-father.

Other than always touching base and becoming a part of her family I made her a part of mine and took her to all my family functions over the years.

Part Of Our Family

Renee was there when I got married, had my first two sons, and she was close enough to experience the pregnancy with my third son on a daily basis.  Due to her Mother’s illness, she became a permanent part of our family prior to having our third son.  That’s right — we filed for custody of her when her mother was no longer able to care for her.

As you can see this relationship has gone above and beyond any mentoring relationship that I know of, and for that we are so proud.

I can honestly say though that I’ve learned just as much or more from her as she has learned from me.  Now that I look back on the experience, while she was young , it seems to me that I was a “parent-in-training”  because a lot of the things I did with her I’m also doing with my own kids.  Wow!

Mentoring Resources

There are a variety of different organizations that can assist you in becoming a mentor if you‘re interested in creating a mentoring story of your own.

Mentor.org:
Life Coaches For Kids:
Mentor Net:
Boys & Girls Clubs of America:

Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

Sherry Martz is a 36 year old wife and mother of three sons who lives on a black angus cattle farm in Indiana.  Since 1997 she’s been a mentor to an inner city young lady who is now in the Air Force.   Sherry is an active volunteer at her sons’ school on a weekly basis and helps kids who are struggling and need extra 1 on 1 attention.  She and her husband own two successful businesses for which she does the administrative end.

If you would like to contact Sherry you can find her on Twitter at @citychiconafarm or visit  her website City Chick on a Farm.

Let’s Talk

We can all use a mentor at some point in our life.

Who has been a big influence for you and how did he/she change your life?

Would you like to create a video, would you like to write an article or would create a slideshow highlighting your Remarkable Kid?

We think you do!

Why Would I Participate?

Sometimes you just need an idea… a little encouragement to acknowledge someone special in your life.

You  now you can submit content to be highlighted in the special section of our website — called Remarkable Kids! 

How Do I Participate?

If your child has a blog or website, please submit the url (do not include child’s name) in the comments.  Note: All content must be submitted by an adult 18 years or older.

Link It Up

So link it up and let’s get this great new project started.   We are excited and can’t wait to begin receiving your content!

*

by Ann Handley

Greetings all staff and stakeholders of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises:

It has come to my attention that there has been some confusion about your roles and responsibilities within the organization, which has led to infighting, yelling, and name-calling—this happened just yesterday, prior to 7 AM.

Such behavior is both unprofessional and unwarranted, and it is my job as the CEO and central “brand” of this enterprise to address this situation before it begins to negatively affect morale as well as my performance in the marketplace, also known as “school and social life.”

The Memo

First, a word about the incident that prompted this memo and took place at headquarters yesterday. Many of you, I know, heard it—or heard of it—and I need to clarify actual events to dispel any notion that the CEO of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises was at fault.
Because, as you know, it’s never my fault.

The Incident

The incident took place in the early morning. It concerned the crazy idea that two individuals traveling to the same school campus should to be liveried in the same vehicle, and therefore ought to be ready to depart at approximately the same time, even if one of us requires more careful and meticulous currying of my excellent hair and a careful consideration of which band T-shirt looks most awesome with my jeans.

There was yelling about did I know the price of a gallon of gas, and the driver’s own needs (not sure what that means), and something was said in a rather overwrought tone about how It’s all about you, isn’t it? 

All of this made the second and final shuttling to school tense and unpleasant, and left me grounded this weekend, which is a wholly unacceptable result of what I see as a giant misunderstanding.

Sister Subsidiary. The Easy Child Enterprise

The bottom line is that the sister involved in this situation is… well, clearly a Sister Subsidiary. Known officially as The Easy Child Enterprise, the Sister Subsidiary should be staffed and run as a separate operation, independent of the needs of Coddled Teenage Boy LLC. Especially since a tenet of that aforementioned subsidiary enterprise is Hates to Be Late, whereas at Coddled we take a much more interpretive view of the clock. 

Roles

Now that we have that out of the way, I’d like to get back to the business of this memo, which is to redefine and, in some cases, reassign the various roles each of you play in keeping this enterprise running.

As you know, we have grown in leaps and bounds over the past decade, growing literally from a Mom-and-Pop entity to a conglomerate with endless, gaping needs and demands. While it once took only one or two people to feed, diaper and bathe me, it now requires an entire staff to manage the complex operation that is my life. 

Complexity of Operation

You might think that my ability to actually use my limbs purposefully and my mastery of other basic life-skills (like the ability to read signs, or jot down a note, or climb bus stairs, or use the toilet) might allow me to exploit my own abilities and increase self-reliance. But, sadly, the answer is no. In ways that even I don’t really understand, it seems that the operation is more complicated than ever, and it requires additional resources and more staff than ever to maintain.

Last year in Math, we studied Inverse Functions, in which the sign f “acts on” a number and transforms it. Essentially, you can define the inverse of f as the function that “undoes” what f did.

New Growth

My understanding is some enterprises grow precisely like that: As new products are brought to market, or new services introduced, others are mysteriously negated. In other words, it’s not my fault that company operations have gotten multifarious and increasingly unwieldy. You can argue the application of this point, but not with me. Take it up with a mathematician.

Reorganization Plan

So without further ado, herewith the new Job Titles as reflected in this most current Reorg of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises: 

Manager of Livery Services—Dad (AM Manager), Mom (PM Manager) 

Director of English Essays, Proofing and Editing Division—Mom 

Laundry Services—Mom, Dad, Sister-When-I-Have-Something-to-Bribe-Her-With 

Homework Helpers—Mom, Dad, the Friends-Who-Actually-Take-Notes-in-Class Squad 

Personal Belonging Tracker—Mom, Dad, various friends (Gordon, Zach, Janey, Chris, etc.) in various classes who run after me when I leave my various crap behind

Shower Timer—Mom, Dad, Sister-When-She-Needs-to-Use-the-Bathroom

Forms and Paperwork, Small Details Division—Mom 

Dispenser of Petty Cash—Whichever parent drives us to the movies 

Emotional Support Team—Pretty much everyone, all the time (note on-call hours) 

The two remaining jobs still available at this time are:

Minister of Wiping My Own Butt  

Director of I’d-Forget-My-Head-If-It-Wasn’t-Attached 

Referrals welcome.

It is my dearest hope that this will help you accept and relish the critical job you have as part of Coddled Teenage Boy Enterprises, and see yourself for what you are: Part of my team, because we are all in this together.

As they say, there’s no “I” in “team.” And there’s no “Boy” in there, either. God knows I can’t do this on my own.

Regards, 

Coddled Teenage Boy 

p.s. Have you seen my soccer shorts? 
 

Ann Handley is Chief Content Officer of MarketingProfs as well as a writer and editor. Read more by Ann Handley at A n n a r c h y, her blog on parenting, technology, personal history, pop culture, and an occasional shot of humor:

In Case of Emergency

I Suspect Everyone Else Is Smarter, Better-Looking, Taller, Cooler, Cuter, Has Newer and Shinier Objects than I Do (and Is More Modest)

Looking for Eddie Field

Do you ever feel the way this author felt?  Did you feel taken for granted and unappreciated?  Did you try to change things in your home?   If yes, what did you do?

by Todd Jordan

In part one of this series, Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software, I talked about software suites like NetNanny. These aren’t the only tools available to parents. For those of you who are less technically inclined who may find a package of programs complicated, browser replacements are much easier to manage.

Internet Browsers

The majority, over 80%, of internet users are using Microsoft’s Internet Explorer to access and visit web sites, with a handful more using other browsers. In most cases, concerned parents are not given the expertise nor are the parental control settings adequate in these browsers. To make life a little easier for parents, especially those with younger children, easy to use browser replacements are available.

Locating And Evaluating Browser Replacements

It’s easy to locate these browser replacements by doing a good search engine search. Here is the search criteria that I used. I would like to point you to a couple of promising choices:

• KidRocket
• KidZui

I’ve only mentioned two, but there are several choices available. The key point to understand is that each bowser offers a different experience at a different price. It is worth your time to spend a little time evaluating the differences and finding the right choice for your family.

Internet Browser Replacement Features

A large part of the browser replacement experience that your family or child has is related to how the software is programed to control your Windows desktop. If we use KidRocket as an example, not only does this software replace the internet browser, it becomes your child’s entire computer experience. This type of total control software, which essentially means that when the computer is turned on, the user either is automatically routed to the appropriate software or it can be setup that this is the only software that the child can run.

KidRocket

The largest benefit of this type of software is that it totally locks down the child’s options. KidRocket comes setup with a set of allowed sites*. This is common among browser replacements. KidRocket has a demo of their browser on their site. Since this browser replacement is meant for smaller children, when the software is loaded, the child is presented with buttons that lead to the content areas. Content that is specifically controlled is one of their strongest features, but can also be a limiting one. With this software, children are only able to access pre-setup programs and are unable to explore other programs.

KidZui

An alternative approach to the locked down Windows desktop is a browser replacement such as KidZui. Their approach gives you a desktop icon only, and does not take over the entire computer. KidZui effects only the internet access portion of the computer. One of the features that is shared between both KidRocket and KidZui is that they both have a pre-setup list of approved sites. A subscription service is available which gives parents access to additional updating and reporting features. Another difference is that instead of just focusing on the browser, they make an effort to make your child’s internet experience more game-like. Like some other online games, kids can progress up to new levels, earn rewards, and participate in the community. This novel approach seeks to draw kids into the experience through positive reinforcement.

Keep Browser Replacements Age Appropriate

Both of the above browser options have committee’s of parents, teachers, and education experts that decide what is safe and appropriate. The choices include fun games, learning, and education related sites. That is a huge plus for these sites, but keep in mind the appropriate age range for each product. As kids get older their needs will change, it is important to meet those needs with a new age range appropriate solution that will keep them excited and not frustrated.

Other Considerations

If you’ve made the choice to go with a browser replacement, here are some of the factors you can use to base your family’s choice on.

• Cost – Both immediate and/or a subscription. This will vary and many choices are free.

• Control – All have pre-setup list of approved sites, but different products have the ability for you to add sites or block additional sites.

• Browser only – Is the software protection browser only or does it provide protection for the entire computer experience?

• Age appropriate – Choose a product that is tailored for your child’s age group or interest level.

Final Thoughts

What really helps many parents decide on the best solution is when the software has a free trial period. This allows you to try multiple products before making a final decision. Note: Only evaluate one product at a time. The last part in this series will be Part 3: Keeping Kids Safe – Increased Knowledge of Internet Safety. Please share any experience you have had with browser replacements. Also if you could let us know in comments if you have chosen to implement one of these products or if you already have one, how it has worked for your child. In Keeping Kids Safe -Part 1, one of our readers shared her experience with a product called iBoss which was very interesting.

by Todd Jordan

In those days, things were much simpler.

When we were growing up, what our parents worried about, when trying to keep us safe, is much different than what parents need to know today!

What Has Changed?

Parents once focused on keeping kids safe in their neighborhoods and warning them of the dangers of talking to strangers. Today’s parents still must warn and educate their children about strangers, with the difference being, that strangers now have global access. Threats can come from around the corner, a neighboring state, or across the country. Our access to the online world predominantly comes through the use of our web browsers. Popular web browsers include: Internet Explorer, Safari, and Firefox.

Through these browsers, our children don’t just have access to read content, but to view photos, download music, and to privately chat. The ability to be watchful is quickly exceeded and becomes out of our immediate reach! So what are we to do? It’s no longer as simple as keeping questionable things physically out of their reach.

Your Online Safety Arsenal

Their are numerous tools and ways for parents today to keep their children safe online. A child’s safety can be increased considerably by implementing some or all of the suggestions in our new series "Keeping Kids Safe" online. The series will consist of three main articles which are outlined below.

Keeping Kids Safe Series

Part 1: Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software
Part 2: Keeping Kids Safe – Internet Browser Replacements
Part 3: Keeping Kids Safe – Increased Knowledge of Internet Safety In this first article, "Part 1: Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software" we will use NetNanny software for our case study. Parental control software is designed to control and filter access to the internet. Let’s examine what it is and how it is used.

Keeping Kids Safe – Parental Control Software

NetNanny is one of the top names in parental control software and won PC Magazines Editor’s Choice award. Some common features of parental control software can be seen if we review NetNanny’s features:

• Internet Access Time Controls
• Web Access Filtering
• Chat Blocking
• Easy Configuration
• Logging
• Updated Filtering Lists
• Individual User Profiles/Roles

Internet Access Time Controls Time controls are perhaps the easiest parental control tool to understand. This feature enables the parent to set time limits or ‘windows of time’ (example 4:00 pm – 8:00 pm) that their child can be on the internet. The software translates your settings and sets up the time periods when the internet is accessible and when it is not. This is ideal for parents that are unable to monitor closely all of their child’s computer use. Perhaps you would like to block the internet from 3 pm – 5 pm when your child should be doing homework. You could also set it up to only allow internet access between 7 pm and 9 pm each evening. This effectively marks out a clear time period of usage and avoids daily haggling (which we all know they will) for internet access.

Web Access Filtering Web access filtering is a little more complex. Filtering effectively means blocking access to certain web sites on the internet. The nice thing is that you, the parent don’t have to make up a list ahead of time. Each software package comes with a prebuilt list of web sites to block. The blocking lists that come with the software can have entries added to them by parents. What you’ll often find is that site blocking won’t exactly meet your needs or computing habits. A gleaming example of this is a search on ‘breast cancer.’ Likely results will contain both sites you’d like your child to be able to access and those even you would want to avoid. NetNanny and other packages often block web sites that contain key words in the site name, such as ‘breast.’ That would include most sites for breast cancer research and support. For this every reason, the software will allow parents to ‘white-list’ a certain site and let them include the site in the allow list.

Chat Blocking 

Chat blocking is a third prong of parental control software. Chat blocking controls have their own built in filtering. Each software package handles it a bit different, but generally this tool allows blocking chat completely as their maximum and then minimally it can block a specific buddy or a list of buddies. Many of the packages allow control at the buddy level. This permits parents to lock down who their child can chat with. You could arrange ahead of time with the other parents to allow your children to chat, and exchange their IDs. This method is probably the next safest besides completely blocking chat. Chat rooms can be blocked as well as certain chat networks. Parents can research ahead of time which chat areas they feel are safe, and just allow those. Many chat rooms are not monitored or don’t screen the participants.

Easy Configuration Easy configuration is a hallmark of these types of packages. NetNanny and the others come with default settings, filtered web sites, and chat. These can be put in place with just one-click. These settings are password protected and in some software, is hidden from regular computer users.

Logging Logging is one of the most important features in any parental control software. Logging is the recording of sites visited and blocked, as well as a log of the chat that records what was written. Checking the logs on a routine basis will alert you to the sites your child is visiting and the ones they are attempting to visit. Children love to explore their boundaries, and the Internet is no exception. By reviewing the logs, patterns will become obvious and you can nip-that-in the-bud quickly. Chat room logging is very helpful. Remember, it isn’t about prying into your child’s private life, but protecting them from predators. Skimming through chat logs regularly is a quick way to discover who is talking with your child online and what they’re discussing. Key words can also alert you to problems. Several software packages in this category allow for key word alerts over the logs, reducing the need to review every line within the chat.

Updated Filtering Lists Blocking lists aren’t static and don’t stay the same. With new slang and abbreviations that are so popular, you will need to update your list. NetNanny for example provides a subscription for periodic and annual updates to their filter lists.

Individual User Profiles/Roles Configuration really boils down to establishing profiles or roles, such as parent/administrator, and child/user. Each profile or role will have settings for filtering. Thus all children in a household could share one role or each be given their own.

Getting Started

Features aside, parental control software is a great first step to protecting your family in their online adventures. It is recommend that parents find a package they like after reviewing several detailed product reviews that contain in-depth tool descriptions. Another option is to use a search engine and search for the terms ‘parental control software’. Getting started today is made even easier by the fact that each of these packages encourages try before you buy options. These options range from a few days to a couple of weeks. Be sure you only try one parental control software program at a time. In the second part of this series, I’ll be discussing another type of software tool, alternate web browsers. So come back after you’ve given those other tools a spin.

Todd’s BIO: Todd’s blog is The Broad Brush and his interests include activities with his church, online safety and awareness, social media, and multimedia.

Do you have parental control software on your computer? If yes, what ages are your children and why did you feel it was necessary? Which software did you buy? Are you satisfied with the software or thinking of looking again?

For those of you who do not have the software, is there an age of your children that you would buy it? Do you have other ways of monitoring their use? Please share with the group in comments, this is a very important topic.

We hope to get a great conversation started!

by Jeremy Biser

Photo by Jeremy Biser

A few years ago, I didn’t even know what “social media” was.

I read the newspaper, a few magazines and when I went online it was for work or to manage my fantasy sports teams. I thought a blog was something that people used to share pictures with their family members, and My Space was the place where pervs and wannabe musicians hung out to seduce young girls.

Looking Back

The “social” online environments did not have a positive connotation for me, and so I was blinded to the potential benefits.

Looking back, I’m disappointed at my own ignorance. I wish I would have started a blog 4 or 5 years ago. I wish I would have discovered Digg or StumbleUpon or Technorati when they first launched. I wish I wouldn’t have grounded my teenage daughter for 2 weeks when I found out she created a My Space page and lied about her age on it.

Well… I still would have grounded her, but only for lying and not because she went into the predators’ lair, as I thought it was at the time.

Looking Forward

Fast forward to today, and I’m proud to be known as a “tech savvy parent.” I’m the guy that my neighbors, friends and family members come to for advice about the Internet, blogs, using social networks and kids’ use of all of these types of technology. I often share new sites and tools, like MyBabyOurBaby or KidZui, with my personal network, and I’ve helped dozens of fellow parents set-up new blog sites.

How have I gone from clueless to clued-in? I publish multiple blogs, including Discovering Dad and Husbands & Dads, and I utilize various social media sites and applications as part of my daily routine. I also have a Facebook page, and ironically enough, my teenage daughter designed and helps update my My Space page.

The Social Media That I Use

In addition, each morning, I run through a series of online communication updates, including checking e-mail, my RSS reader, Lifestyle and Technology categories, Popular and Interests categories, Alerts and Technorati blog reactions to my sites. Throughout the day, I also use Twitter and StumbleUpon when I have a minute or two free in between other tasks and responsibilities. All of this while working from home and taking care of the kids – I juggle a lot of balls throughout the day.I have never felt more productive yet simultaneously balanced in my life, and I owe a big part of it to the effective use of these many technologies.

Basically, in a little more than two years, I went from social media idiot to social media expert (I use that term lightly and comparatively – I’m no Chris Brogan).

So, how does all of this “social media” stuff help me be a better dad?

1. Flexibility - many of these technologies have helped me to create a career that is extremely flexible. The Internet never sleeps, so I don’t have to try and cram my work into “normal business hours.” Instead, if I need to spend three hours exclusively taking care of the kids, then that’s what I do. If I want to take my kids to the park in the middle of the afternoon and then walk over to the ice cream shop, I do it. The majority of work I do is done after the kids go to bed, and that’s fine with me.

2. Connectivity - my oldest daughter lives a few thousand miles away from us with her mother, so when she’s not here during breaks and the summer we complement our phone conversations and texting messages and photos through My Space. She has also written a few posts for my Discovering Dad site, and I write about her often. I also communicate with friends and family members through various social networks and Twitter. When I relied exclusively on cell phones and e-mail, I might talk to people once every two weeks. Now, I talk to many family members and friends every day.

3. Purpose – I publish two sites, in particular, with a specific focus on being a better husband and father. Discovering Dad is about “learning what it means to be a good dad.” Husbands & Dads is a site “where it’s cool to be a family man.” I have met some incredible people through these sites, and I feel a sense of purpose in creating interesting content for them. I have done more research on fatherhood and parenting in the last year than I ever could have imagined, and I’ve learned a ton of great tips and insights to being a good dad from my fellow dad bloggers. I’ve also learned much about myself along the way. I have a mission to make a positive difference in world by encouraging men to live well and become better husbands and dads.

4. Resources – I find tons of relevant resources about being a better husband and dad throughout the various social media sites and applications that I use. And, the things I like best about this information is that it always comes with a recommendation of a friend. Think about it – how much more likely are you to try something new if a trusted friend recommends it? The same theory applies to information gathered in the social media world. I find new and interesting information about fatherhood on a daily basis that I would never have found in the past, prior to using social media sites and tools.

5. Feedback – my kids tell me when I mess up all of the time, so it’s nice to bounce ideas off of others or share things that have worked really well for me with people through my blogs or Twitter or one of the social network sites. I love the interactive nature of it all. Most of my off-line dad friends are very reserved, and not many of them like to talk about fatherhood or family in any sort of detail. I think they believe it will make them seem weak or vulnerable, or that I’ll ask them to turn in their man cards for showing emotions. Dads are different online – emboldened by their pseudonyms or anonymity. They are more willing to talk about issue of importance to them honestly and openly, and they let me know what they think of my thoughts or writing. It is an incredible learning environment in which dialogue happens instantaneously, even if it is only in 140 characters or less (Twitter).

6. Understanding – my kids are going to grow up using all of these tools and more. I don’t want to be the parent who doesn’t understand both the positive and negative aspects of these sites and tools. It’s easier for me to help my kids, if I know how to guide them in anything in life. Also, it’s better for both me and them if I know how to monitor their use of various technologies.

My Virtual Power Shake

Put all of these things together, and it makes a virtual power shake that energizes and inspires me to be a better dad (husband, worker, man and citizen too). The benefits of social media extend far beyond the business world, even into the realm of good parenting. Tech savvy parents are able to not only improve the productivity and efficiency of their own lives, but also find new and exciting ways to stay connected with their kids.

If you’re not using these tools, I encourage you to set aside a few hours one rainy Saturday and test out some of these tools. Ask your kids what social sites and applications that they are using. Sign-up for accounts with the same sites. Ask your kids to give you a tutorial – they’ll think it’s cool (and scary that mom or dad is interested in the same things they are).

Learning to use a variety of social media technologies has definitely helped me feel like a better dad and a remarkable parent.

Jeremy’s BIO: I’m also on the Buzzboard (Advisory Board) for a social networking community called cre8Buzz, and I manage content for another social network for artists called Artistic Pursuit.

What are your thoughts? Would you allow your children to use social media? Would you put any rules on it’s useage? Would you want to see the page and profile they create on My Space or Facebook?

Share your comments with us …. We’re interested in how other parents feel. Please share your child’s age if that bears on the situation.

MacKenzie Loving’s writes “Vicky definitely provides some food for thought as to why “blogging” and other new Web technologies are helping to form new bonds between parents and their children in a manner that touches people today and in the future. Even if you know a lot about technology, take a moment to read Vicky’s comments because there will be a parent out there you’ll want to share this with.”

Question 1:
You say on your site that the internet is the great equalizer between generations. Can you expand on this and give an example where you’ve personally experienced this happening?

My 18 year old daughter Kay will be heading off to college in the fall. Like every parent my feelings are somewhat conflicted. I want her to discover who she is as a young adult and to experience life on her own, yet I am worried that now that she’s 18, she may feel that it’s a failure of her new found adulthood to come to me with her problems. I just want to be in the loop, have an idea of what and how she is doing, and know that she’s safe.

A few friends who’ve children have gone off to college have prepared me that that college students don’t devote a lot of time to keeping in touch. I know she has good intentions to keep in touch, but realistically I should be prepared to feel left out. To bridge this communication divide we have been talking about ways we can keep in touch. We don’t plan on using only the telephone, we also plan on using IM (instant messaging), Email, Twitter, Facebook, and Skype. Kay already uses these technologies and so do I. More >>

Question 2:
What is the most incredible or satisfying aspect of writing or managing your own blog?

The most satisfying aspect of the web site is having planned the overall vision of the site for so long and seeing that vision implemented. When the first article Who Taught My Kid That Four Letter Word? was published, along with the web design which I really love, I felt amazing, absolutely amazing and I really haven’t come down yet.

Question 3:
For any mom who is new to the blogosphere and social networking, can you offer a quick how to get started list to help ladies get engaged?

I purposely put some links, print screens, and definitions in the first question, so the ladies can go to those sites to get more information on those technologies.

Steps towards technology and social media use

1. Email Sign up for an email account. Most email accounts are free. I suggest using Gmail. Google’s Gmail has has one of the best spam blocking engines that will block most spam and make your experience much nicer (a second choice would be Yahoo).
2. Search Engines Google is by far the most popular search engine and is also free. When you are searching you can use individual words for your search criteria or you can use phrases enclosed by quotes (a second choice would be DogPile). This phrase will search for pages that Google has indexed that have these three words many times anywhere on the page.



This phrase will search for pages that Google has indexed that have the phrase ’small breed’ (must be the entire phrase) and the other word anywhere on the page.

This phrase will search for pages that Google has indexed that have the words ‘small’, ‘breed’, and ‘dog’ anywhere on the page. More >>

Question 4:
If moms could learn one technology this year, what would you say it should be?

I would have to say that it would depend on the individual mom and their family’s needs.

If you need to communicate with your kids while your at work and they’re at home, I would say get two webcams, headphones w/ mics and use Skype or you could use IM.

If you are lonely, want to crowd source advice, or make new friends I would say Twitter.

If you will be soon changing jobs, finishing school and want to either get a job or network with others in your same profession, I would say Linked-In.More >>

Question 5:
Your site is asthetically pleasing want to offer kudos into anyone in particular?

The web designer for Remarkable Parents is Randa Clay. We worked remotely as I am in Wisconsin and she is in Texas. The relationship did work well for us and it wasn’t a problem that she didn’t live in the same state. I am amazed at how well she got the concepts and my vision for the site. Randa has done a case study on many of the steps we took and tips that clients can use to translate their vision to the designer.

Someone who also helped me considerably was Chris Garrett who was handled some of the more technical issues and helped me develop and organize my vision for the site. Chris lives in the United Kingdom, so we used Skype for many of our sessions.

I would like to thank MacKenzie Lovings and Parent Power Index for giving me this opportunity to share what Remarkable Parents is about with their readers.

Please let us know if we are headed in the right direction for our readers in the comments. What would you like to see more of? What would you like to see less of? Let us know, we’re writing for you!

Mickey Mouse is an american icon!

No matter what generation you are from, Mickey Mouse is part of our culture.

In Disney World’s EPCOT ( “Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow”) Center an area is devoted to agricultural technology, where several large greenhouses encompass about 2.5 million square feet of area!

EPCOT Is Growing Mickey Mouse Ear Pumpkins!

One of the things that EPCOT has been experimenting with in Eco Friendly gardening is growing vegetables within their own self sestaining ecosystems.

In the picture to the right, pumpkins are being grown inside forms shaped to look like Mickey Mouse’s ears. The pumpkins will grow within the form and eventually will take on its full shape characteristics.

Can Vegetables Be Fun!

Every parent has been there. We all have tried to get our children to eat their vegetables. We have either succeeded, failed, or reached a of compromise somewhere in between.

What if vegetables were fun, different and interesting?

Vegiforms are 1/8″ thick, clear plastic forms that you securely fix over the growing vegetable, as the vegetable grows it conforms to the shape of the mold.

One of the forms available is of an elf head. This form is used for shaping eggplant, melon, pumpkin, gords, and squash.

The “pickled pair” can be used with cucumber, zucchini and summer squash.

Even though my kids are older, I think I’m going to pick these up as gifts for a few friends.
They might even encourage children to eat their vegetables.

If you are interested in purchasing Vegiforms or seeing their products in more detail go to their web site.

*

by Ann Handley

In her new book released last fall, “Deceptively Delicious,” Jessica Seinfeld slips chick peas into her chocolate chip cookies and purees butternut squash into her mac and cheese. The general premise is tat kid food is fried and white. But if you slip in something on the sly — say cauliflower into mashed potatoes, or sweet potato into pancakes — then you can trick your kids into eating the stuff you want them to, minus the tantrums and tears.

Jessica, who is married to the comic Jerry Seinfeld, was in the news a few months ago because Missy Chase Lapine, who authored a similar book called “The Sneaky Chef,” insists that “Deceptively Delicious” is nothing but a riff on her ideas. The Seinfeld’s contest as much.

But whatever. The problem isn’t whether Jessica was the first mother to hide flaxseed in chicken nuggets and then write about it. The problem is that, as Wall Street Journal’s Raymond Sokolov wrote, “These women treat vegetables the way Victorian mothers treated sex, with silence.”

Or, as Stefania Pomponi Butler wrote, “The bottom line is this: I don’t want my food to be deceptively delicious. I want it to be delicious. Full stop.”

In other words, instead of encouraging kids to try new foods, or simply setting them on the table, the cookbooks infantilize kids’ taste by both removing choices and pandering to the lowest common denominator in their developing palates. Instead of simply setting vegetables on the dinner table, gloriously naked and recognizable, the authors suggest that you pull one over on your kids and veil the veggies as something else entirely: mac and cheese, nuggets, pancakes. You know the stuff.

Food is only part of it. A year or so ago, Verizon launched a new cell-phone service that will alert you if your kids wander beyond a perimeter that you set for them. Around that time, the Boston Globe wrote about how state and national ruling bodies for youth soccer leagues have recommended that scores and standings not be kept in under-10 leagues, saying it’s best not to track “winners” and “losers.” My 11-year-old daughter’s town soccer team doesn’t keep score, either.

All of these seemingly unrelated things are, in my view, linked. They seem to speak to good intentions gone slightly awry: as if our need to protect our kids has morphed into a tendency to infantilize them. I wonder – about my own two kids and their friends and the generation at large – are we doing them any favors? Is all of this supervision and control and hiding vegetables helping them grow up? Or is it really keeping them young?

My own two kids, at 11 and 16, have little of the freedom I did at their age. It’s not that their afternoons are packed with lessons and tutoring and practices. Because they aren’t… although we have our share of all three. It’s just that their lives are more choreographed and coordinated than mine ever was. The older one has a cell phone, and the younger one covets it. She doesn’t yet have a sense of how much a cell phone can cramp a kid’s style or, at the very least, limit the ability to run amuck.

Occasionally I compare this to my own 16-year-old self: when I was my son’s age, I had a lot more freedom (and flat-out free time). I’d already made some teenage mistakes and learned from them; I’d already experienced a few things in life that I’m certain – more or less — my son hasn’t. Nothing anything truly serious, but enough to raise the hairs on the back of my neck.

With access to the Internet and technology, my son may be more sophisticated than I was at his age. But frankly, I was wiser.

Which is frustrating for a parent to realize, and it makes me wonder about the ripple effects of our supervised playtimes, hidden vegetables, and cell-phone leashes. It also makes me wonder what the downside is to a culture increasingly skewed toward staying younger longer.

Sure, 40 is the new 30. But is 18 the new 8?

As Sokolov writes, “Very few childhood bedwetters go off to college with rubber sheets. Picky eaters also mature….”

That is, if we let them.

Ann Handley is Chief Content Officer of MarketingProfs as well as a writer and editor.

Read more by Ann Handley at A n n a r c h y, her blog on parenting, technology, personal history, pop culture, and an occasional shot of humor:

Beta Before Alpha

“Hey Pretty Lady!”

A Virgin in Hollister

The Shadow Knows: Watching Superbad with my Son

American Idolatry

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