You will not be accomplishing more, if less of what you’re doing is working and we all have only 24 hours in a day and that’s not changing.

I Can Haz Attenshunz and Ingajmentz

_________________________________________________________

I wanted to share with you a Twitter chat that I will be hosting this Monday, April 4th from 12:30pm ET to 1:30pm ET that I think will be amazing.

The guest is George Siemens and my brief writeup of the scheduled chat is below and don’t forget to use the hashtag #SMCEDU.

I hope you can join us!

Learning and Analytics

George Siemens is at the forefront of defining the concept and promoting the discussion of the relatively recently coined term Learning Analytics.

Learning Analytics has been identified by the 2011 Horizon Report as one of six areas of emerging technology that will have significant impact on higher education over the next one to five years.

George is among the leaders in this emerging field and it’s not hard to see why.  So far this year, he has served as the Conference Chair for the 1st International Conference on Learning Analytics, co-facilitated the massive open courses “Learning and Knowledge Analytics” and “Connectivism and Connective Knowledge” which has drawn world-wide innovative educators to the same table to exchange ideas and knowledge, but most importantly to learn from each other.

The Technology Enhanced Knowledge Research Institute (TEKRI) at Athabasca University which sponsored the 1st International Conference on Learning Analytics referenced their support explaining,

“The growth of data surpasses the ability of organizations to make sense of it. This concern is particularly pronounced in relation to knowledge, teaching, and learning. Learning institutions and corporations make little use of the data learners “throw off” in the process of accessing learning materials, interacting with educators and peers, and creating new content.

In an age where educational institutions are under growing pressure to reduce costs and increase efficiency, analytics promises to be an important lens through which to view and plan for change at course and institutions levels.”

The acronym MOOC, first coined in 2008, is well known by any of his students, many of which are educators.  When George Siemens and Stephen Downes were preparing to begin the online course “Connectivism and Connective Knowledge” they were flooded with over 2000 people worldwide signing up for the free, open course. The massive number of participants prompted a new label for the super-sized course, a MOOC or Massive Online Open Course.  How is the course organized and conducted?  Interestingly, all course content was available through RSS feeds, and learners could participate with their choice of tools: threaded discussions in Moodle, blog posts, Second Life, shared bookmarks, and synchronous online meetings, but participants were invited to use the technology methods they were comfortable with. The participants took their notes, posts, discussions, and reference material to every Web 2.0 and social media technology most of us can imagine.

Most of us as we move toward deciding which social media elements are most helpful and engaging to learners will be interested in learning how to evaluate which measures are most effective. Learn how to look at your social media and teaching from the viewpoint of what the data can tell us.

George Siemens is a strategist and researcher at the Technology Enhanced Knowledge Research Institute at Athabasca University. Formerly, he was the Associate Director, R & D, Learning Technologies Centre at University of Manitoba. He is the founder Complexive Systems Inc., an research and learning lab focused on assisting organizations develop approaches to meet the needs of changing learners, employees, and global education and business environments. Siemens has keynoted and presented at national and international conferences. His publications and personal blogs can be accessed at www.elearnspace.org and www.connectivism.ca.

by Chris Garrett

One of the reasons I love the work that I do is that it helps me be closer to my family.

As with most people who run their own business, there are pressures and challenges involved that can work against family life, especially if you are not careful, but over all when talking to other parents I feel blessed that I can now work in a way that allows me all the family benefits that we enjoy.

I have gone from a job that I found frustrating, working for a marketing agency, a traditional commuting and office job, to having my own consulting business, running online courses, writing, running sites for income such as http://creditcardmatcher.com and blogging with friends on sites like http://promotions.co.uk/blog or for companies like http://cogniview.com – the transition was not easy but well worth the effort and I now love my work.

The best part is as well as being happier in myself, which is always a key ingredient in the recipe for better family life, I now get to see my family more often, in more quality ways.

Some of the ways technology helps me …

1) Time – my time is more productively spent.

The biggest example is sales, or rather the removal of a need to do any sales. Where before I would have to write proposals, travel down to London to pitch, present my pitch, then travel back, now I do not need to do any of that. Customers come to me via the internet, and 99% of them I have never met in person. This is a massive time saving. Just the train journey to London is over two hours one way, when it is on time. By car it is nearly four.

Of course I still travel, but I choose when and how, and it is never to pitch or sell.

2) Quality time – by taking control of my time it means I am always available when my family most needs me.

From the seemingly little things (though very important all the same) like never missing any school shows and sports days, through to traumatic events like when my daughter needed to be in hospital I could drop everything.

When I travel for business now I can take my family with me, which is a real thrill for my daughter, and means we do not need to be apart half as much as we would otherwise.

3) Systems – after leaving my job and starting my own business I realized I had gone from one bad employer (job) to another (me).

Freedom is not something you get given but something you need to take. It is only in the last year or so that I really worked that out, but it is through systemizing and technology that supports that where my freedom came from. Everything from using online tools like Skype, through to infrastructure like 3g telephone internet connections. I can outsource entirely online, and can provide my services in the same way. Digital delivery means in some cases my customers do not even need to interact with me at all if they do not want to. The best part is the whole idea of making your own schedule.

Time shifting has impacted many things, most notably television where you watch what you want to and when, but now you can time shift your work which opens up a whole new world.

4) Multi tasking – while queuing, on a train or flight, I can read ebooks, listen to audio books on my iPod, and check email.

In the car I can listen to audio books too, and of course all those other things if I am not driving! In fact on long journeys I have written book chapters, blog posts, answered client emails, updated the online courses I run. Using internet messaging and remote desktop tools I have fixed failing web servers and diagnosed technical problems all over mobile internet connections.

While my daughter watches Disney channel I can have my laptop, well, on my lap and while out and about my iPod touch serves as a terminal to access email and the web.

5) Location independence – not being tethered to a desk is only the start of it.

It gets even better than not being forced to go to an office every day and work to someone else’s schedule. Once your work is online that means you can work from anywhere there is an internet connection. I have logged in from a beach in the south of france, and from a frozen lake in the rocky mountains.

Every school holiday for my daughter means we can go away and do something fun, and my work does not need to suffer to make that happen.

Sound good? It is good, but now there are challenges and potential risks with all this that I ought to share:

Challenges and Potential Risks

1) Being distracted – It is not quality time if you are checking your email, IM and tweets all the time. We need to be present when we need to be present. It is not enough to be physically there and mentally some other place! These tools make it too easy to focus on the wrong things, and our moments with family are too precious to waste.

2) Learn to say ‘no’ – One of my biggest lessons is that we do not have to say yes to everything. My clients are spread all over the world from New Zealand to Hawaii. If I let it then my work would stop me getting any sleep, as every time a new time zone wakes up I get a new set of demands on my time. You need to find a time to be at work and a time to switch off, and when you switch off do it properly. We are now so connected that you can be followed wherever you go and there is no safe haven. Even flights now have wifi occasionally. Some people think if you CAN be online you SHOULD.

3) Workaholism – At some point we need to make the decision to end the work day. If I let myself I work 12 hours or more each day, and I work seven days a week.

Not healthy!

So I have started implementing a strict policy of work hours and building in family and health time. It is not easy but I am getting there. This is related to the previous point but it is an important one.

When you can work from anywhere and any time, how do you choose to stop? I often say that while I have not experienced burnout yet I have circled that drain a few times. You have to be disciplined and put your family first.

While we think we are doing all this hard work for our family, you are doing them no good if you become a worn out ask of yourself at the end of each day.

I would like to hear how you work and balance your family and professional life. Please share your thoughts in the comments?

Chris Garrett lives in the UK with the two most important ladies in his life; his wife and their 9 year old daughter.

Chris is a professional blogger, Internet Marketing consultant, writer, coach, speaker, and web geek. He is a founding member of Performancing and recently has co-written the book Problogger: Secrets For Blogging Your Way To A Six Figure Income

_____________________________________________________

Related Posts:

• Connecting With Your Child When Twitter Is Banging On The Door (RemarkableParents.com)
• How Social Media Has Taught Me To Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• Flipping Work Life Balance (BiggSuccess..com)
• Sandbagging Your Efforts (CarpeFactum.typepad.com)

____________________________________________________________

I’m a single dad.

I see my son Thursday through Saturday night and sometimes Sundays. Because of my limited time with him, it’s important that I focus my time with him in the best possible way. But this is not as easy as it sounds.

Managing My Time

In addition to being a Dad, I also run my own business.  I  consult with  non-profits and businesses on how to use social media to get more customers.  There are times when my customer workload keeps me up until 1:00AM.  There are also times when business is slow, but I’m still up late using the inbound marketing strategies that I teach. In either case, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about making my time with my son 100% about him – not Twitter, my Blog or LinkedIn.   I’ve learned these things the hard way, which is how I learn most effectively. These are five lessons that I’ve learned that help me make 100% of the time with my son about him.

Five Time Management Tips That Work

1.  Create High Barriers To Distraction

Sounds simple enough, right?

Not so easy though, as I’m sure you’ve found.

For me, closing the laptop is not enough.  I need to take the darn thing on tuck it way up high above the kitchen cabinet – where it’s really hard for me to get it back down.

This essentially creates a higher barrier for me to even begin to entertain checking email or Twitter.

2.  Work in Short Spurts

On the weekends, if I have to do work, I’ve learned to keep it within short bursts.  This way, the majority of time is spent together – enjoying each other.

Two or three (max) mini work sessions  is what works for me.  My son is almost six – he needs my attention – a lot!

3.  Focus On One Task

If I need to get a project done, I’ll focus my time on that one task – to the exclusion of everything else – in a couple of 30-minute blocks of time throughout the day

It seems that 30 minutes is also the limit for my son.

To help me, I use a kitchen timer, which I like because the ticking noise ads that extra sense of urgency.

4.  Set Clear Expectations

When I set clear expectations, my son feels safe and loved.

If I say to my son, "I need to do some work for a while", he’s more likely to ask for my attention every five minutes.

But, If I say that I’m going to work for 30 minutes, then close my laptop, and then take him to the park, he’s much more likely to keep himself busy until I’m done.

5.  Show Your Appreciation

When I do have to work, even for a 30-minute burst, I always say express appreciation to my son.

"Thank you so much for letting me get some work done."

"You’re becoming such a big boy!"

"I’m so proud of you."

Obviously this makes him feel great – and goes way beyond mere positive reinforcement.   Praise builds happy confident children, which is way more important than any job or client project.

Creating His Childhood And Our Lives

Finally, I remind myself that the days I spend with my son are his childhood. How much love, connection, praise and support, can I give him during these crucial years. This is his childhood!  What kind of memories am I creating with him?

Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

John Haydon is a single father of a 6 year old boy and runs his own business advising non-profits, small business and social entrepreneurs on how to implement inbound marketing strategies with the social web. If you would like to contact John you can find him on Twitter at @johnhaydon or visit  his web site.

_____________________________________________________

Related Posts:

• Who Taught My Kid That Four Letter Word (RemarkableParents.com)
• How Social Media Has Taught Me To Be A Better Dad (RemarkableParents.com)
• Fostering Appreciation in Children (kidsgrowth.com)
• Day 15 of 15 Days of Work/Life Balance: Lessons Learned (jessicaknows.com)

____________________________________________________________

Quality time is so important.  Do you have any tips that you use to stay focused- at work?  with family?  during your alone time?

Oh how I love my iPhone…  Let me count the ways….

My iPhone is honestly the next best resource when I don’t have my computer with an internet connection and this interview pretty much lays out my thoughts as to why.

Of course, this is my personal opinion, but there seem to be other iPhoneSpaz’s out there…  and I have found them!

I’m Not The Only iPhoneSpaz!

I also got some input from fellow geeks on twitter so let’s get this started.

“I love my iPhone because it’s unrequited love from afar. No one loves me enough to buy me one. It’s imaginary, fantasy, and folly.”  — Scott Merrick

“Loves her iPhone because it’s so empowering! I can get information about anything and everything and respond in realtime!“  — Gail Mari

“Easy to learn, slick, easy-to-use interface, nice comfortable size, killer potential with addition of multitude of apps.”   — Robert Hruzek

“I can personalize it to exactly what I need and want. As simple or complex as I choose”  — Scott Nelson

“My iphone can do just as much as my computer:  find places to eat, gives pollen count, play games, give directions & it loves me back.”  — Christine K

iPhoneSpaz Interview

Recently, I had a conversation and then an interview with Jamie Grove Mr. iPhoneSpaz himself about my beloved iPhone.

Jamie: First thing’s first… How many apps do you have and what got you hooked?

Vicky: 38 added (non standard icons/applications).

The main thing that got me hooked was flexibility and convenience.

I want to have both the flexibility and convenience of doing many of the same things on my phone that I can do on my computer. When I’m away from my computer, it is very important that I can do some of the same basic tasks that I’m able to complete on my computer. Many times it’s not that I actually ‘want’ to accomplish something, but it is also the piece of mind knowing that there is not something important that I should be attending to that I am missing, which is many times as simple as being able to see my email account.

The other thing that is really convenient is to be able to use time that is many times unuseful (ie.. waiting in the waiting room for a dr.’s appt) to either complete or start small tasks.

This time is no longer unuseful, I can make use of this time to get something done.

Jamie: How has the iPhone changed your life?

Vicky: Owning an iPhone has given me both basic functionality and many additional application options.

Basic functionality like contacts, calendar, Google maps, notes, camera, iPod (music), email, text messaging, web browser combined with add-on’s like WordPress, Facebook, Jott, Linked-In, Twitterfon, Skype, and Evernote.

With the additional applications that are so available on the iPhone, I could offset the additional price of purchasing an iPhone because of the additional functionality. I didn’t by an iPod or a Blackberry, instead I used the funds for these purchases to be able to purchase the iPhone. I also felt confident with the popularity of this particular phone and the number of applications being created that this technology and the appliations would continue to be a platform that developers would continue to both develop new applications and support/update existing applications.

More…

What do you think?

Do you love your iPhone or another phone?  What’s your favorite application or time saving tip?

Microsoft® Word 2007: introduction

Word 2007 enables users to create professional-quality documents, such as letters, brochures, newsletters and web pages. In this class, you’ll learn the basics of using Word 2007, and then move on to customizing the Word environment.

You’ll also learn how to create and edit documents, work with graphics, use editing and proofing functions and more.

• Learn the Word 2007 environment and become comfortable manipulating that environment to make workflow more efficient for individual style
• Create documents and edit documents
• Use formatting and page-layout functions
• Use editing and proofing functions
• Create graphics using SmartArt
• Create basic tables and use Quick Tables

Microsoft® PowerPoint 2007: introduction

Microsoft PowerPoint® 2007 is a full-featured program for creating professional-quality presentations. In this free Microsoft PowerPoint tutorial, you’ll learn how to customize the PowerPoint 2007 environment, use presentation views to maximize efficiency, apply color schemes and document themes and create a basic presentation with text and simple graphics.

• Explore the PowerPoint 2007 environment
• Understand the most important tools and features of PowerPoint 2007
• Create documents and edit documents
• Use different views to improve efficiency
• Apply color schemes and document themes
• Create a basic presentation using text and simple graphics

Microsoft® Excel 2007: introduction

In this free online class, you’ll explore the Excel® interface and learn to enter, edit and format data and use Microsoft Excel formulas and functions to calculate and analyze numeric data. You’ll also get tips on using Microsoft Excel for simplifying many tasks.

• Learn how Excel can help you organize, analyze and present data
• Create simple, effective spreadsheets that include text and numeric data
• Use formulas and functions to perform automatically updating mathematical calculations
• Apply attractive formatting to worksheet rows, columns and cells to make data more readable and interesting

Writing a high-impact business plan

If you’re starting or expanding a small business, this course gets you started on the process of writing a business plan that will impress potential investors and help you get the funding you need. The course is based on The McGraw-Hill Guide to Writing a High-Impact Business Plan: A Proven Blueprint for Entrepreneurs by James B. Arkebauer.

• Understand the importance of creating a good business plan, and the level of effort required
• Learn the components of a comprehensive business plan
• Get background for writing the most important part of your plan: the business description
• Find out how to describe your market and develop a definitive operation plan

Build your business identity with a new logo

This class will help you build a true business identity. To brainstorm business logo ideas, you’ll take a close look at your business and identify what makes it unique. Next, you’ll learn to translate those distinct qualities into a relevant business logo design that sets you apart from the competition. Finally, you’ll explore the different ways you can use your new company logo design to create high-quality color business documents in-house.

• Brainstorm business logo ideas by clearly articulating what makes your business unique
• Have a logo that truly personifies your business
• Be familiar with the ways you can use a business logo in marketing materials
• Use your business logo design to create in-house the marketing materials you need to succeed

How to build your first website

Websites aren’t magic.

Planning, designing and implementing a site for yourself, your small business, your family or your model car club is well within the capabilities of any person with a reasonable amount of computer know-how.

A broad range of free and low-cost tools are available to assist the novice web publisher. This class shows you how you can let these tools do the technical work while you focus on your vision. Podcast version of this class available.

• Design an effective website from scratch
• Discover tips and tools to help you build a site you can be proud of
• Build a website
• Get your site published on the World Wide Web
• Add audio, video or slide shows to your website
• Promote the site and keep visitors coming back again and again

You may have noticed that there are some banner ads lately on Remarkable Parents.

The banners here are hand chosen by us and are friends whose web sites and mission we fully believe in. These resources are real and not a get rich quick scheme. Introducing Michelle Vandepas of “Divine Purpose Unleashed”!

Divine Purpose Unleashed

by Michelle Vandepas

Do You Have a Divine Life Purpose?

Or maybe you’ve considered that your purpose is raising your children? You love your family but wonder, is there more to life than diapers, meal planning and dirty bathtubs? We all know that having a family is part of your Divine experience here on earth, but is there more…….?

Do Others Think Your Life Is Perfect?

Most of my friends always thought my life was perfect. I have a wonderful family, nice home and great job, but before I was tapped into my purpose I always felt something was missing. Late at night I’d ask myself the big questions. What was I really here to do? Was this all there was to life?

Shouldn’t I Be Happy?

Why wasn’t I happy? I had everything except the most important thing. I didn’t feel fulfilled. My job was fantastic. Nevertheless, it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t reconcile the present reality, with where I wanted to be. Inside myself was always a yearning, a longing to be ‘doing’ something else.

Forget Trying to Figure it Out!

For years I tried to analyze my purpose. I knew what I didn’t want to do, and I knew a few things I loved, but I couldn’t quite get a handle on what it all meant in the bigger picture. I had some leadership skills, but did that mean I was supposed to be a manager? I’m creative, was I supposed to be an artist? And that’s the trouble. We try to figure it out in our minds. And in the process we confuse our ‘roles’ like, ‘employee’, or’ mother,’ or ‘artist,’ with our purpose. Our purpose may be to be creative, or to lead, and once we tap into those energies that give our lives meaning and purpose, then we can bring them onto all areas of our life, including into our ‘roles’.

Our Hearts will follow up with a possible step:

• Where can I enroll in art class?
• I could write in the bathroom for 5 minutes.
• Maybe I could walk at lunch tomorrow.

Our Minds Don’t Lead Us

Our Hearts do. Our Intuition does. Yet our minds are important. Our minds help us discern if the timing is right and what steps we can take to move toward our purpose. These are some questions that may come from your mind:

• How can I follow my heart when I’m not happy in my job but I’ve got a family to feed?
• How can I pay my bills and live with Spirit?
• Must give up my profession and live in poverty in order to discover meaning and purpose?

When We Listen, Our Intuition Will Give Us Guidance:

Our Intuition won’t fail us, but we need to strengthen the skill of listening to it. We hear our nudges:

• An art class sounds rejuvenating
• used to write poetry in school.
• My mind needs a long walk.

We get scared. Instead of just following, gently with a small step, we go into panic. These nudges must mean I have to become a full time artist, or we think, I’ll never write a book of poetry; I can’t walk across the USA. We take the nudge all the way into how our life will change over the next ten years. That is our mind in overdrive. Hyper imaginative. Our heart is mearly giving us instruction for our next step.

Our Hearts will follow up with a possible step:

• Where can I enroll in art class?
• I could write in the bathroom for 5 minutes.
• Maybe I could walk at lunch tomorrow.

Are You Stuck?

One way to wake up your heart is to try new and different things. Maybe you don’t even know what your heart-bursting activities are. We bury them deep inside. Try this. Make a long list of things you loved to do as a child, things you would like to try and things you love to do now. Take pen and paper and quickly, don’t think about it. No censoring. Yes, 100 things. Quick! When you run out of ideas keep writing the list of things you might have liked to do as a child, then add to it things your friends liked to do. Activities, even creative ones, are the road to your purpose, they are not your purpose. Painting may be something you love to do, and perhaps you are gifted, but if you make the mistake of believing that painting is your purpose, and then when you might lack inspiration for the day, you’ll feel without purpose, maybe even depressed. Better to find a new outlook on purpose and consider that creativity, or designing beauty, or visioning are more closely related to your purpose.

Now Start!

What did you write down? Reading? Dancing, Running? Building rocket ships? Playing with dolls, studying the stars? These may be activities that will help get you closer to your dreams, and in turn, to your Divine Life Purpose. Take one of the items on the list and try it. Want to dance? Your dreams don’t need dance lessons, try dancing around the living room, once a day for a week. Maybe your heart just wants to go outside and stare at the dark night for ten minutes. Great! Don’t wait for a thousand dollars and the new telescope to manifest. If you’ve got a dream, or a wish, this could be a window into your Divine Purpose. What if all we needed to live our purpose was a gentle nudge to have more fun, open our heart, and be more connected to our own Spirit? Perhaps we each have the power to turn on the switch inside ourselves to ‘enlighten’ our heart’s desire? And that will lead us to Divine Purpose.

How Do I Find Purpose In My Work?

Eventually, you may turn your passion into a business or a job, however it isn’t a necessity. There are plenty of bus drivers who have a purpose to serve, and many a nurse whose purpose is nuturing. There are also nurses who don’t work with patients, but have found purpose by switching to a scientific side of nursing. When you are aware that your purpose isn’t your job, then you can bring purpose into your job!

Enjoy the Process

Today, bask in your spiritual gift of stargazing, painting, or sitting in the stillness. Your gift to the world doesn’t have to involve money or product. Your gift to the world is being you, fully Human, living in the joy with an expanded heart. Reconnecting with your Spirit. Rediscovering what makes your heart sing, here in the moment. Following your bliss.

And that is your Divine Purpose.

Bio: Michelle Vandepas is living her Divine Purpose by sharing tools to inspire others to live with passion and purpose. Michelle is a Doctor of Divinity and a Reiki Master. She is also an Entrepreneur and co-founder of Divine Purpose Unleashed, LLC and founder of ‘Conscious Destiny‘, LLC, companies that enhance Creativity, Consciousness, Integrity, Purpose, Passion and Intuition.

I will be introducing you to many other “Friends that Rock!”, yes unbelievably I have quite a few and I want to share them with all of you!

Another great resource about finding your divine purpose is the book “Achievement IQ Moments” by Stanley F. Bronstein which I briefly reviewed (yes, you’ll meet him later in a “Friends that Rock” post). Do you feel that you’ve found your divine purpose? Are you in the process of living your purpose? What do you feel your divine purpose is? Is it obtainable?

This week has been a roller coaster.

The high moments have been like mountains and the low moments have been… well at the other end.

As I’m reviewing this week, I am reminded of all the things and events I am thankful for. Those special, sparkly individuals in my life who encourage me daily, whose support gives me strength, and who when I see the glass is half empty, they remind me of the glass half full-isms.

So here we go, my week and only the good stuff!

Meeting Jason Fried Of 37signals

I have always been intrigued by entrepreneurs who have started their own successful companies, when I attended the Wisconsin Entrepreneurs Conference 2007 and heard Jason Fried of 37signals speak, I knew at that moment, that exact moment, that he had to come to MATC and speak to our students.

A little over one year later, I’m sitting in an outdoor cafe with Jason Fried and Melissa Pierce who is the producer of the “Life In Perpetual Beta” movie. We’re having a drink, talking casually, and watching Jason eat a turkey sandwich before speaking.

Mike Rohde of Rohdesign’s sketch notes were created from the event, which I think are closer to informal art. There are many more in his flickr album, but this one is my favorite. Note: Full presentation is in these archives, choose the September 24th event.

Filming Life In Perpetual Beta

Melissa had already taped the first part of their interview and she had driven up from Chicago to Milwaukee with Jason to tape the second part.

This is how Melissa describes her film “Life In Perpetual Beta“:

“I’m making this documentary about listening to your authentic self, unleashing your creativity, and living in the moment, every moment. A film about the same kinds of things my clients struggle with. A documentary told by everyday people.”

I Think I Had An Achievement IQ Moment?

I’m reading this wonderful book “Achievement IQ Moments” by Stanely F. Bronstein. The book is being officially released sometime this month in October 2008, but I was lucky enough to get one of the prerelease copies.

I was reading again and thinking about what I had read, noted, and typed not more than 5 hours ago. This is word for word; copy & paste from my electronic notes.

“The new book Achievement IQ Moments is an uplifting collection of 50 extraordinary true stories. Amazing people who have overcome the life shattering personal obstacles in their lives, turning them into their own moments of personal triumph!

Each individual abstract is between 3 to 6 pages long and begins with a quote. The title for chapter one is “Time to Think” and is preceded by the following quote.

“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is” – Author Unknown

As I have been reading through each chapter, I have found it beneficial to take an extra minute to repeat both the chapter title and quote in my mind. By doing this, I have been reprocessing the title and quote (before reading the chapter), adding my initial thoughts and perception as I try to relate it to my own life before I read the chapter.

What Is Achievement IQ?

a.chieve.ment iq n – A measure of a person’s or organization’s ability to (i) recognize details of opportunities most others do not see, thus pulling themselves IN A POSITION of readiness (ii) put themselves IN A POSITION to attract opportunities (iii) POSITION THEMSELVES to be ready to take advantage of these opportunities once they do come their way; and (iv) then take action upon these opportunities in a manner that most others would not, thus putting themselves IN A POSITION to be more successful than most.

The Laws Of Positioning

After completing the first leg of my tour in Hawaii, I returned to Arizona and interviewed a few people locally. One of them and I started discussing the “Laws of Attraction,” which are a major part of the popular movement known as “The Secret.”

During our discussion, we agreed that, while we thought the laws of attraction are very important, there was something missing. I wasn’t totally sure what it was, but it started the wheels turning in my mind.

Returning to my office, I started thinking some more. I went through notes from my previous books, and then it struck me what was missing – Positioning! The most successful people not only recognize opportunities and act upon them, but they actually put themselves in a position to have opportunities come their way, and to be ready to act upon them swiftly once they do.

Epiphany

How could I feel pessimistic when I am surrounded by such creative, intelligent, optimistic people? And then I realized what I’ve been slowly realizing for the last 6 months… I can’t.

It feels great to be driving the car not being a passenger.

As I head towards the next road, sharp curve, slight bend or one way street, I am confident that I am headed in the right direction.

I have a map, I have a purpose, I don’t know exactly where I’m going but I am the one choosing the direction for me.

The phrase role model is all about doing and the children of the millenium are watching!

“Parents, get out your paper and pencils.

I am going to tell you the most important thing you will ever need to know about raising children!”
[Parents wait breathlessly for answers and words of wisdom]

“Example. Example. Example” — Fritz Redl, Child Psychologist

The evidence is in, various researchers, psychologists, educators, and other professionals have spoken and it is what it is.

Good or bad it’s you!

It’s not only you as a parent, but you in your other roles; as an aunt, a coach, a mentor, as your child’s friends parent, girl scout leader, or bible study school volunteer.

Reevaluating Our Decision Making

There are great advantages for us when we choose to re-evaluate our own decision making patterns and ask ourselves hard questions about our personality and behavior.

The most important advantage is that we will make better decisions! Those decisions that we make more than once and ask ourselves ‘why did I do that again?’. Feeling that way is one of the first indicators that I used to re-evaluate my own life.

The way I have personally accomplished this, was to question and challenge everything that I have accepted on blind faith or that I have adopted out of tradition or history.

I think you will be as surprised as I was at the number of choices that involve patterns of doing things a certain way simply because someone else, who didn’t know anymore about the topic than you do, did it that way.

You will find things that withstand the challenge of your questioning and reevaluating. These patterns that have withstood the challenge, should be embraced and continued.

Really Living vs. Existing

The second question I have asked myself while reading the book “Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters” by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. , which was pretty ugly was am I really living life or does my life resemble someone who is merely existing?

Below are some of the characteristics and a brief sentence describing the difference between really living and existing.

Existing: Instinctual, reactive, involuntary, repetitive, and routine.
A life of merely existing is “living life with the main goal of getting from one day to the next”.

Living: Using knowledge, sharpened skills, conscious decision-making that is part of a larger goal.
When you are really living you exercise challenged skills, attitudes, and abilities that you have built to a level of being sharp and focused.

To truly understand if we are really living, merely existing, or are somewhere in between, we need to know or learn why we make the decisions we make.

* Do we make our decisions with or without the necessary information and skills to create the results we desire?

* Do you know or can you learn why you do what you do, and don’t do what you don’t do?

Solid Framework

I think we all realize how important role models have been in our own lives and how important it is for us to make the best decisions that we can, example the behavior we want our children to emulate, and live our lives fully everyday.

“When parents talk about discipline, they mean a rigid set of rules to prevent their children from misbehaving.

But the only discipline worthy of the name lies in providing a solid framework of ideals—not for the child to live up to, but for the parents to live within.

You can beat children until they are black and you are blue, but it cannot make them any better than the examples they see around them every day.” — Sydney J. Harris, Chicago News columnist

The framework should reflect our own values and be a transparent view of who we really are. Although many times it seems like we must be perfect, we all know that is not possible and I’ve found people are usually understanding when you just come clean. They can’t understand what they don’t know.

Moving Forward

Moving forward, we can only do our best. The past is the past and the future is full of possibilities, growth, and opportunity.

That’s what remarkable parents is all about. It’s not about whether you are a ‘remarkable parent’ right now, we were never trained to be parents. There is no guide.

What’s important is that you are trying, growing, and place great importance on your family. That’s the foundation of being a remarkable parent.

They are growing as you are growing.

It all happens so fast and at the same time, but don’t be discouraged, they are so worth it!

What do you think?

]]> http://remarkableparents.com/life-strategy-really-living/feed/ 0 http://remarkableparents.com/dr-phil-and-whack-a-mole/ http://remarkableparents.com/dr-phil-and-whack-a-mole/#comments Fri, 30 May 2008 22:54:50 +0000 Vicky H http://remarkableparents.com/?p=14 Getting to a good level of communication with my kids took some self reflection and has had it’s growing pains. As with anything worthwhile, we get to the next level in our own thinking by re-examining our existing thought patterns, gathering new knowledge, and some basic hard work.

Whack A Mole

In my own personal growth, many times I feel like an unwilling participant in a flurried session of Whack-A-Mole! The arcade game.

This player is an expert and whacking moles is what he does! Getting whacked over and over does three things well; it makes your head hurt, gives you a renewed sense of urgency, and instills a strong conviction not to do this again!

Properly motivated now, the story moves on…

I did what I always do when life gets rough and I feel a little whacked.

I went to the local Barnes and Noble bookstore – with the connected Starbucks cafe. A girls gotta get a good cup of coffee and unwind sometimes!

Books

I walk in, find the section that has the kind of book I want, and I start scanning. I look at the books, pulling a couple out so I can read the inner sleeve and back cover.

Interesting?

Goes in the pile to the right.

Boring?

Goes back on the shelf.

This goes on until I have a pile of books — the maximum I can carry across
the bookstore to the Barnes & Noble cafe.

In the cafe, I get a large cup of coffee as I prepare to read the first three pages of each of the fifteen books I just carted across the bookstore like a true geek.

The total time spent on this expedition? Usually about three hours.

Information

Yes, I could talk to a friend or family, but many times it’s just easier to go find your own answers!

I like books when I want to get another person’s perspective, preferably someone who a) is not a crazy and b) someone who knows the subject matter. It’s not easy to find a good author with something meaningful to say when you need it!

I was searching for a book that would help motivate me and not a bull-sh*t filled book that would make me feel warm and fuzzy. I need someone to tell me like it is, not someone telling me what I want to hear in five easy steps.

Life Strategies

A book that really helped me change my thinking was “Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters” by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. If you’re thinking, “Is that Dr. Phil”? You are right, it is Dr. Phil. I’ve heard several people say they don’t like him and his tv show, I don’t get a chance to watch it, so I don’t know. I will say however that I found a ton of value in this particular book!

Phillip M: “Most people cheat themselves by not asking themselves the hard questions, not facing their true personality and behavior, and therefore not addressing the nitty-gritty issues undermining their efforts to succeed.”

Vicky H: Ouch! Hate it when people do that.

Phillip M: “You are accountable for your life. Good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, happy or sad, fair of unfair, you own your life! If you are not happy, you are accountable. Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Understand your role in creating the results that are your life. Lean how to choose better so you have better.”

Vicky H: Ouch! This was almost worse then participating in a whack-a-mole game.

Phillip M: “Whatever your life circumstances, accept that you can no longer dodge the responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is.

Taking responsibility doesn’t just mean giving “lip service” to being accountable by saying “Okay, I’m accountable”. If you don’t accept accountability, you will misdiagnose every problem you have. If you misdiagnose, you will mistreat. If you mistreat, you won’t get better, plain and simple.”

Vicky H: [ I keep reading...]

Phillip M: “Adopt an attitude of questioning and challenging everything in your life that you can identify as being accepted on blind faith or as having been adopted out of tradition or history. Consider patterns in your personal, professional, family, and social areas.

You will be surprised at how much of your life involves patterns where you do things in a certain way simply because someone else who didn’t know any more than you, did them that way. You will, of course, find certain things that withstand the challenge and therefore should be embraced. You will also identity things that do not withstand the challenge and therefore should be modified or abandoned.”

Our brains love micro-processing. Our brain wants to be efficient. It wants to find the answer, file the thought away and move on to the next thought.

Reusing our previous decisions over and over is quick, but does it serve us well? In my personal case, no. After spending the better part of a year giving my thoughts and their patterns a makeover, I think I made a huge leap forward — and from that point I’ve never looked back.

Ways I Have Changed

After learning this, I don’t take as many things for granted and I try to put myself in the other persons shoes more. Thinking differently is now getting me different results. I can now see many of these patterns in advance and I consciously re-evaluate their need to exist.

In the pre-teen and teen years children start the transformation towards defining their individuality. Reevaluating my own values and choices makes me realize how much I have changed over the years.

This has helped me to understand my kids changing and to appreciate, love, and embrace their uniqueness for both their god given gifts, as well as their shortcomings.

Sensible pondering is much more zen than being whacked like a mole.

**

Use the contact form to share your thoughts, suggestions or comments about the website.