How Using Social Media Has Helped Me Be a Better Dad

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Featured Guest Article

by Jeremy Biser

Photo by Jeremy Biser

A few years ago, I didn’t even know what “social media” was.

I read the newspaper, a few magazines and when I went online it was for work or to manage my fantasy sports teams. I thought a blog was something that people used to share pictures with their family members, and My Space was the place where pervs and wannabe musicians hung out to seduce young girls.

Looking Back

The “social” online environments did not have a positive connotation for me, and so I was blinded to the potential benefits.

Looking back, I’m disappointed at my own ignorance. I wish I would have started a blog 4 or 5 years ago. I wish I would have discovered Digg or StumbleUpon or Technorati when they first launched. I wish I wouldn’t have grounded my teenage daughter for 2 weeks when I found out she created a My Space page and lied about her age on it.

Well… I still would have grounded her, but only for lying and not because she went into the predators’ lair, as I thought it was at the time.

Looking Forward

Fast forward to today, and I’m proud to be known as a “tech savvy parent.” I’m the guy that my neighbors, friends and family members come to for advice about the Internet, blogs, using social networks and kids’ use of all of these types of technology. I often share new sites and tools, like MyBabyOurBaby or KidZui, with my personal network, and I’ve helped dozens of fellow parents set-up new blog sites.

How have I gone from clueless to clued-in? I publish multiple blogs, including Discovering Dad and Husbands & Dads, and I utilize various social media sites and applications as part of my daily routine. I also have a Facebook page, and ironically enough, my teenage daughter designed and helps update my My Space page.

The Social Media That I Use

In addition, each morning, I run through a series of online communication updates, including checking e-mail, my RSS reader, Lifestyle and Technology categories, Popular and Interests categories, Alerts and Technorati blog reactions to my sites. Throughout the day, I also use Twitter and StumbleUpon when I have a minute or two free in between other tasks and responsibilities. All of this while working from home and taking care of the kids - I juggle a lot of balls throughout the day.I have never felt more productive yet simultaneously balanced in my life, and I owe a big part of it to the effective use of these many technologies.

Basically, in a little more than two years, I went from social media idiot to social media expert (I use that term lightly and comparatively - I’m no Chris Brogan).

So, how does all of this “social media” stuff help me be a better dad?

1. Flexibility - many of these technologies have helped me to create a career that is extremely flexible. The Internet never sleeps, so I don’t have to try and cram my work into “normal business hours.” Instead, if I need to spend three hours exclusively taking care of the kids, then that’s what I do. If I want to take my kids to the park in the middle of the afternoon and then walk over to the ice cream shop, I do it. The majority of work I do is done after the kids go to bed, and that’s fine with me.

2. Connectivity - my oldest daughter lives a few thousand miles away from us with her mother, so when she’s not here during breaks and the summer we complement our phone conversations and texting messages and photos through My Space. She has also written a few posts for my Discovering Dad site, and I write about her often. I also communicate with friends and family members through various social networks and Twitter. When I relied exclusively on cell phones and e-mail, I might talk to people once every two weeks. Now, I talk to many family members and friends every day.

3. Purpose - I publish two sites, in particular, with a specific focus on being a better husband and father. Discovering Dad is about “learning what it means to be a good dad.” Husbands & Dads is a site “where it’s cool to be a family man.” I have met some incredible people through these sites, and I feel a sense of purpose in creating interesting content for them. I have done more research on fatherhood and parenting in the last year than I ever could have imagined, and I’ve learned a ton of great tips and insights to being a good dad from my fellow dad bloggers. I’ve also learned much about myself along the way. I have a mission to make a positive difference in world by encouraging men to live well and become better husbands and dads.

4. Resources - I find tons of relevant resources about being a better husband and dad throughout the various social media sites and applications that I use. And, the things I like best about this information is that it always comes with a recommendation of a friend. Think about it - how much more likely are you to try something new if a trusted friend recommends it? The same theory applies to information gathered in the social media world. I find new and interesting information about fatherhood on a daily basis that I would never have found in the past, prior to using social media sites and tools.

5. Feedback - my kids tell me when I mess up all of the time, so it’s nice to bounce ideas off of others or share things that have worked really well for me with people through my blogs or Twitter or one of the social network sites. I love the interactive nature of it all. Most of my off-line dad friends are very reserved, and not many of them like to talk about fatherhood or family in any sort of detail. I think they believe it will make them seem weak or vulnerable, or that I’ll ask them to turn in their man cards for showing emotions. Dads are different online - emboldened by their pseudonyms or anonymity. They are more willing to talk about issue of importance to them honestly and openly, and they let me know what they think of my thoughts or writing. It is an incredible learning environment in which dialogue happens instantaneously, even if it is only in 140 characters or less (Twitter).

6. Understanding - my kids are going to grow up using all of these tools and more. I don’t want to be the parent who doesn’t understand both the positive and negative aspects of these sites and tools. It’s easier for me to help my kids, if I know how to guide them in anything in life. Also, it’s better for both me and them if I know how to monitor their use of various technologies.

My Virtual Power Shake

Put all of these things together, and it makes a virtual power shake that energizes and inspires me to be a better dad (husband, worker, man and citizen too). The benefits of social media extend far beyond the business world, even into the realm of good parenting. Tech savvy parents are able to not only improve the productivity and efficiency of their own lives, but also find new and exciting ways to stay connected with their kids.

If you’re not using these tools, I encourage you to set aside a few hours one rainy Saturday and test out some of these tools. Ask your kids what social sites and applications that they are using. Sign-up for accounts with the same sites. Ask your kids to give you a tutorial - they’ll think it’s cool (and scary that mom or dad is interested in the same things they are).

Learning to use a variety of social media technologies has definitely helped me feel like a better dad and a remarkable parent.

Jeremy’s BIO: I’m also on the Buzzboard (Advisory Board) for a social networking community called cre8Buzz, and I manage content for another social network for artists called Artistic Pursuit.

What are your thoughts? Would you allow your children to use social media? Would you put any rules on it’s useage? Would you want to see the page and profile they create on My Space or Facebook?

Share your comments with us …. We’re interested in how other parents feel. Please share your child’s age if that bears on the situation.