Posted June 20th, 2008 by Vicky H in Guests, Organization, Productivity, Technology

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As role models, we need to consider the way we live our everyday lives and how this is perceived by children; both those we have chosen and those we haven’t chosen to be the role models of.

The phrase role model is all about doing and the children of the millenium are watching!

“Parents, get out your paper and pencils.

I am going to tell you the most important thing you will ever need to know about raising children!”
[Parents wait breathlessly for answers and words of wisdom]

“Example. Example. Example” — Fritz Redl, Child Psychologist

The evidence is in, various researchers, psychologists, educators, and other professionals have spoken and it is what it is.

Good or bad it’s you!

It’s not only you as a parent, but you in your other roles; as an aunt, a coach, a mentor, as your child’s friends parent, girl scout leader, or bible study school volunteer.

Reevaluating Our Decision Making

There are great advantages for us when we choose to re-evaluate our own decision making patterns and ask ourselves hard questions about our personality and behavior.

The most important advantage is that we will make better decisions! Those decisions that we make more than once and ask ourselves ‘why did I do that again?’. Feeling that way is one of the first indicators that I used to re-evaluate my own life.

The way I have personally accomplished this, was to question and challenge everything that I have accepted on blind faith or that I have adopted out of tradition or history.

I think you will be as surprised as I was at the number of choices that involve patterns of doing things a certain way simply because someone else, who didn’t know anymore about the topic than you do, did it that way.

You will find things that withstand the challenge of your questioning and reevaluating. These patterns that have withstood the challenge, should be embraced and continued.

Really Living vs. Existing

The second question I have asked myself while reading the book “Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters” by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. , which was pretty ugly was am I really living life or does my life resemble someone who is merely existing?

Below are some of the characteristics and a brief sentence describing the difference between really living and existing.

Existing: Instinctual, reactive, involuntary, repetitive, and routine.
A life of merely existing is “living life with the main goal of getting from one day to the next”.

Living: Using knowledge, sharpened skills, conscious decision-making that is part of a larger goal.
When you are really living you exercise challenged skills, attitudes, and abilities that you have built to a level of being sharp and focused.

To truly understand if we are really living, merely existing, or are somewhere in between, we need to know or learn why we make the decisions we make.

* Do we make our decisions with or without the necessary information and skills to create the results we desire?

* Do you know or can you learn why you do what you do, and don’t do what you don’t do?

Solid Framework

I think we all realize how important role models have been in our own lives and how important it is for us to make the best decisions that we can, example the behavior we want our children to emulate, and live our lives fully everyday.

“When parents talk about discipline, they mean a rigid set of rules to prevent their children from misbehaving.

But the only discipline worthy of the name lies in providing a solid framework of ideals—not for the child to live up to, but for the parents to live within.

You can beat children until they are black and you are blue, but it cannot make them any better than the examples they see around them every day.” — Sydney J. Harris, Chicago News columnist

The framework should reflect our own values and be a transparent view of who we really are. Although many times it seems like we must be perfect, we all know that is not possible and I’ve found people are usually understanding when you just come clean. They can’t understand what they don’t know.

Moving Forward

Moving forward, we can only do our best. The past is the past and the future is full of possibilities, growth, and opportunity.

That’s what remarkable parents is all about. It’s not about whether you are a ‘remarkable parent’ right now, we were never trained to be parents. There is no guide.

What’s important is that you are trying, growing, and place great importance on your family. That’s the foundation of being a remarkable parent.

They are growing as you are growing.

It all happens so fast and at the same time, but don’t be discouraged, they are so worth it!

What do you think?

 

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