Mentoring Comes From The Heart

Posted May 25th, 2009 by Vicky H in Parenting, Quality Time

Research consistently shows that kids benefit from relationships with caring adults in addition to their parents.

A study of 1,000 young people for Big Brothers Big Sisters showed that, compared to other groups, children with mentors were

46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs
27% less likely to begin using alcohol
53% less likely to skip school
33% less likely to engage in school violence

In addition to the above statistics, mentored children also showed improved relationships with both their peers and their family’s.

A Mentor’s Story

Disheartening statistics isn’t what lured me into becoming a mentor, but my personality traits of being helpful, having a giving heart, and believing in volunteer work that I believe sparked my interest in becoming a mentor.

A friend had mentioned that she had been a ‘Big Sister’ in her early 20s. At that time I was 24 and had been on my own and supporting myself for 5 years. I realized that I had extra time to take on a commitment like mentoring a child and after all the paperwork and background checks had been done, I spoke with a BBBS counselor named Neal with the Big Brothers & Big Sisters organization, .

Since it was Neal’s job was to match me with a Little Sister, I made sure he knew that I wanted the youngest girl available. I had decided this wasn’t going to be ‘just a mentoring‘ relationship but instead a ‘lifelong friend‘.

Renee

On August 16, 1997 I met Renee. She was 7 years old, which is younger than BBBS’s 8 year old requirement, but because of extending circumstances she was allowed to enter the program early.

The girls’ mother, in my opinion, gave her girls the best gift she could ever give them, especially since she was terminally ill, Renee and her three older sisters all had Big Sisters.

In the years to come not only did I help her with homework, take her places, make special projects, but I also made sure I got to know her family to help her understand and manage the relationships she had with her sisters, mother, and step-father.

Other than always touching base and becoming a part of her family I made her a part of mine and took her to all my family functions over the years.

Part Of Our Family

Renee was there when I got married, had my first two sons, and she was close enough to experience the pregnancy with my third son on a daily basis. Due to her Mother’s illness, she became a permanent part of our family prior to having our third son. That’s right — we filed for custody of her when her mother was no longer able to care for her.

As you can see this relationship has gone above and beyond any mentoring relationship that I know of, and for that we are so proud.

I can honestly say though that I’ve learned just as much or more from her as she has learned from me. Now that I look back on the experience, while she was young , it seems to me that I was a “parent-in-training” because a lot of the things I did with her I’m also doing with my own kids. Wow!

Mentoring Resources

There are a variety of different organizations that can assist you in becoming a mentor if you‘re interested in creating a mentoring story of your own.

Mentor.org:
Life Coaches For Kids:
Mentor Net:
Boys & Girls Clubs of America:

Remarkable Parents Team Bio:

Sherry Martz is a 36 year old wife and mother of three sons who lives on a black angus cattle farm in Indiana. Since 1997 she’s been a mentor to an inner city young lady who is now in the Air Force. Sherry is an active volunteer at her sons’ school on a weekly basis and helps kids who are struggling and need extra 1 on 1 attention. She and her husband own two successful businesses for which she does the administrative end.